Anxiety is something most of us will experience at some point in our lives, whether it’s a moment of panic before a big presentation or the low, persistent hum of worry that can last for days. In fact, according to a survey from Mind UK, 37.1% of women and 29.9% of men reported high levels of anxiety in 2022/2023, a pretty significant rise from a decade prior, when only 21.8% of women and 18.3% of men said the same.
In today’s world, where everyone’s striving to “fix” their problems and be the best version of themselves, it’s no wonder that anxiety gets a bad rap. We’re told time and time again that it’s something that needs to be eliminated, a problem that can be “cured” if we just work hard enough.
But here’s the truth: you don’t need to “fix” your anxiety. In fact, the idea of fixing it can actually make things worse. Instead, it’s about learning to understand, manage, and live with it. Anxiety isn’t something that should be eradicated—it’s a part of the human experience, and learning to work with it is the real key to feeling more in control of your life.
Acknowledge that anxiety is natural.
Before we dive into the “how,” let’s get something straight: anxiety is a completely normal part of being human. In fact, it’s essential to our survival. Our bodies are wired to feel anxious in response to danger, real or perceived, as part of our fight-or-flight response. While that might not always serve us in the modern world, it’s not something that’s inherently broken or needs to be “fixed.”
What’s more, anxiety isn’t as rare as we sometimes think. According to the World Health Organisation, anxiety disorders affect over 264 million people worldwide, and the NHS reports that 1 in 6 adults experience some form of anxiety at any given time. The fact that so many people live with anxiety should serve as a reminder that you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing.
Stop labelling anxiety as something “wrong.”
When we think about anxiety as something that needs fixing, we start to label it as a problem or disorder, something that shouldn’t be there. This mindset can increase feelings of shame or inadequacy, leading to a cycle where we feel like there’s something wrong with us because we can’t make it go away.
The truth is, anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s a natural response to stress, and its intensity can vary depending on the situation. Instead of framing it as something that needs to be fixed, try seeing it for what it really is: a signal. Anxiety is your body’s way of telling you that something is important or that it’s time to take a step back and reassess. It’s not a character flaw, and it doesn’t define you.
Anxiety doesn’t need to be erased—it needs to be managed.
The problem with the “fixing” mindset is that it implies that anxiety should disappear entirely. The reality is, it’s not going anywhere. Rather than trying to eliminate it, the goal should be learning how to manage it. This isn’t about pushing anxiety down or pretending it doesn’t exist; it’s about giving yourself the tools to cope with it when it shows up.
Mindfulness, for instance, can be incredibly helpful. In a study published by Psychiatry Research, participants who practiced mindfulness had significantly reduced anxiety levels compared to those who didn’t. Mindfulness teaches you to stay present in the moment, rather than getting caught up in the what-ifs and maybes that fuel anxiety. By accepting that anxiety will come and go, you can focus on being aware of it, rather than trying to force it away.
Change your perspective to see anxiety as a tool.
Instead of seeing anxiety as an enemy that needs to be defeated, consider the possibility that it could be a tool—something that has value when you know how to use it. Anxiety can help you stay alert, make important decisions, or even motivate you to prepare for challenges. The key is understanding when anxiety is working for you and when it’s working against you.
For example, a little anxiety before a big meeting can push you to prepare thoroughly, but when anxiety becomes overwhelming and all-consuming, that’s when it’s counterproductive. It’s about recognising the difference and learning how to navigate the waves.
Focus on building resilience rather than “fixing” yourself.
Instead of trying to fix anxiety, focus on building resilience. Resilience is your ability to cope with and recover from difficult situations. The more resilient you are, the better you can manage stress and anxiety in your life.
Building resilience doesn’t happen overnight, but there are plenty of ways to start. Regular exercise is one powerful tool, as it can help reduce anxiety and boost your mood. The NHS suggests that physical activity releases endorphins—your body’s natural mood lifters, which can help keep anxiety at bay. Sleep is another key factor: getting enough rest helps your body and mind function properly, making it easier to handle stress.
Offer yourself more kindness and compassion.
We’re often our own harshest critics, especially when we feel like we’re not “fixing” our anxiety fast enough. But being hard on yourself only makes things worse. Practising self-compassion is key to managing anxiety.
Rather than chastising yourself for feeling anxious, treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious, and it’s okay to take a break. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
Understand the impact of social media.
In today’s world, it’s hard to escape the constant stream of social media posts that suggest everyone else is living their best life while you’re just… stuck. This can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, especially when we feel like we should be “fixing” ourselves to fit into a picture-perfect mould.
It’s important to recognise that what you see online doesn’t reflect the full picture. People often post only their highlights, leaving out the struggles. It’s not healthy to compare your life, or your anxiety, to someone else’s curated image. Take breaks from social media when needed, and remind yourself that your life doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.
Get the support you need when you need it.
If your anxiety feels overwhelming, there’s no shame in seeking support. Therapy is a great option for many people. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), for example, is one of the most effective treatments for anxiety, as it helps you identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that contribute to anxious feelings.
And you don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, confiding in a friend, or joining an anxiety support group, reaching out can make a huge difference. You don’t have to fix it by yourself.
Practise acceptance.
Acceptance is a powerful tool in managing anxiety. Instead of resisting your anxiety, try accepting it. Recognise that it’s part of who you are, and that’s okay. You don’t have to “fix” it—just let it be.
This doesn’t mean you have to like it, but it’s about acknowledging that anxiety doesn’t need to control you. By accepting it, you take away its power to dictate how you feel or how you live your life. It doesn’t have to be a roadblock—it can simply be something you learn to live with, rather than fight against.
Embrace small steps.
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, start small. You don’t need to make huge changes or expect to fix everything overnight. Start with one small thing, whether it’s practicing deep breathing for five minutes, taking a walk, or having a calming cup of tea. Small steps lead to big changes as time goes on.
The idea of “fixing” your anxiety can create unnecessary pressure and lead to feelings of failure when things don’t improve instantly. Instead of striving to eliminate it entirely, focus on managing and understanding it. Anxiety can be a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define you. With time, self-compassion, and the right tools, you can learn to live with anxiety in a way that allows you to enjoy your life, without constantly trying to fix what’s already there.
