Finding your purpose is the advice that’s often thrown around, particularly in self-help circles, like it’s the holy grail of a meaningful life. The idea that once you find that one big thing, everything will click into place, and you’ll be fulfilled forever. But what if that’s not the case? What if the pressure to find your “purpose” is, in fact, making life feel more stressful, rather than more meaningful?
The truth is, you don’t have to have a single, grand purpose to live a life full of meaning and fulfilment. In fact, putting all that pressure on yourself to do so can be counterproductive. Life is messy, unpredictable, and complicated, and sometimes the most meaningful moments come from simply living in the present, rather than striving for some big, distant goal. Here’s why you should take this advice with a grain of salt.
Life isn’t one-size-fits-all.
The idea that there’s one perfect purpose for everyone is a bit misleading. What brings meaning to your life might not be the same thing that brings meaning to someone else’s. Some people find fulfilment in their career, while others find it in family, art, or personal growth. The point is, meaning doesn’t look the same for everyone. There’s no universal formula, so trying to force yourself into a specific mould doesn’t serve you.
Purpose can change over the years.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be fixed from the moment you’re born. It can evolve and change with time. What felt like your purpose five years ago might not resonate with you today, and that’s completely okay. Life is full of twists and turns, and so is your sense of meaning. Being open to the possibility that your purpose might change as you grow can take the pressure off having it all figured out from the start.
You can (and should) find meaning in the small things.
Meaning doesn’t only come from big, life-defining achievements. In fact, some of the most meaningful moments come from the simple, everyday things: a good conversation with a friend, a walk outside on a warm, sunny day (as rare as those are in the UK), or taking the time to do something you love. These moments might seem small, but they add up to a life filled with connection, joy, and fulfilment. You don’t need to search for one giant purpose to appreciate the small moments that make up a meaningful life.
You don’t need to be famous or have high status to have a purpose.
So much of the pressure around “finding your purpose” comes from the idea that your purpose has to be something big or world-changing. But the truth is, you don’t have to be famous or have a global impact to live a meaningful life. You can make a difference in your own way, in your own community, and with the people you care about. Meaning doesn’t always need to be on a grand scale to be valuable.
Purpose doesn’t always equal happiness.
There’s a common belief that if you just find your “purpose,” you’ll be happy. But happiness is more complex than that. It’s not something that’s guaranteed by finding the perfect job or life goal. Happiness comes from a mix of things—relationships, personal growth, contentment, and even just enjoying the present moment. The pursuit of happiness doesn’t have to hinge on “finding your purpose.” It’s about being present and appreciating what’s around you.
You can create your own meaning.
Meaning isn’t something that’s handed to you; it’s something you create. It’s up to you to decide what gives your life meaning, whether that’s through relationships, experiences, creativity, or personal achievements. Rather than waiting for a purpose to magically appear, take charge and create your own sense of purpose by engaging in the things that make you feel fulfilled and alive.
The pressure to find your purpose can be overwhelming, not to mention unnecessary.
When you constantly feel like you have to be working towards some grand purpose, it can create unnecessary stress. The pressure to “find your purpose” can be exhausting and overwhelming, especially when it feels like everyone around you has it all figured out. It’s okay to not have all the answers. Life is too short to stress about finding your “one true purpose” when you can focus on living fully right now.
Your so-called “purpose” can be small and everyday.
Purpose doesn’t always need to come in the form of a career or a grand mission. It can simply be about finding joy in everyday life. Taking care of yourself and the people around you, contributing in small ways, and doing things that make you happy all add meaning to your life. Sometimes, the most fulfilling “purpose” is the one you build from the ground up in your everyday actions.
Living a meaningful life is about balance, not perfection.
No one has it all figured out, and life is far from perfect. Trying to live up to an idealised version of “purpose” can leave you feeling drained and disconnected. Living a meaningful life is about finding balance—between work, rest, relationships, and personal growth. Perfection isn’t necessary. It’s the little things, the balancing of priorities, and the ability to appreciate what you have in the moment that makes life meaningful.
Meaning can come from helping other people.
Sometimes, the most meaningful experiences come from helping those around you. Whether it’s through volunteering, supporting a friend, or making someone else’s day better, the act of giving can bring a sense of purpose without needing to define it. Helping others fosters a deep sense of connection and belonging, both of which are key to living a meaningful life.
You don’t have to be passionate about just one thing.
We’ve all heard that finding your passion is the key to success and fulfilment. But that’s not the reality for everyone. Many people don’t have one singular passion that drives them—rather, they enjoy a variety of things, each of which brings something valuable to their life. You don’t need to find one thing that you’re passionate about to live a meaningful life. Sometimes, a mixture of interests and activities can bring a well-rounded sense of joy and fulfilment.
Meaning comes from connection, not achievement.
Achievement isn’t the only measure of a meaningful life. Often, the most fulfilling part of life comes from connection—whether that’s with friends, family, or even with yourself. Relationships are one of the biggest sources of meaning, and they don’t require you to be on a specific path to “find your purpose.” You don’t need to be working towards some huge, life-altering goal to find fulfilment. Sometimes, just being present and connected to those around you is enough.
You can live meaningfully without being productive 24.7.
There’s a myth that in order to live a meaningful life, you need to be constantly doing, achieving, or striving towards something. But meaning doesn’t only come from being busy. In fact, some of the most meaningful experiences come from quiet moments, relaxation, and simply being present. You don’t need to be “productive” every minute of the day to live a full, meaningful life.
