You know that feeling when your life seems a bit of a mess?
When your flat looks like a tornado hit it, your diary is bursting with scribbles, and you’ve just realised you’ve worn two different socks all day? Relax. The chaos around you might actually be evidence that you’re growing as a person.
We’ve all felt the pressure to appear as though we’ve got it all sorted. Social media doesn’t help, with its parade of seemingly perfect lives. But what if the messiness, the uncertainty, and those moments when you feel slightly adrift are actually signs that you’re developing in meaningful ways?
As hard as it is to believe, here’s why not having everything together could actually be a good thing.
You’re challenging yourself with new experiences.
When you’re learning something new, whether it’s a language, a musical instrument, or even a different job role, there’s bound to be a period where things feel disorganised. Your brain is creating new neural pathways, and that process isn’t always tidy.
Research published in Nature Reviews Neuroscience explains the concept of “desirable difficulties” in learning, where temporary struggles and disruption actually enhance long-term learning outcomes. This “productive struggle” phase is necessary for mastery to develop, even though it can feel chaotic in the moment.
The chaos that comes with new challenges isn’t something to worry about—it’s a sign that you’re expanding your horizons rather than staying in your comfort zone.
You’re reassessing your priorities.
Sometimes life feels messy because you’re in the middle of figuring out what actually matters to you. Maybe you’ve always thought career advancement was your top priority, but suddenly, you’re wondering if more time with family or pursuing a passion project might be more fulfilling.
This reassessment period can make your decisions seem inconsistent to other people. You might turn down overtime that you would have jumped at before, or spend money on things that previously wouldn’t have interested you. This isn’t flakiness; it’s you evolving your understanding of what makes for a good life.
You’re becoming more authentic.
Many of us spend years trying to fit into moulds created by family expectations, social norms, or workplace cultures. Breaking free from these constraints to become more authentic often creates a period of apparent disorder.
The transition towards authenticity rarely follows a straight path. It typically involves questioning long-held beliefs, experimenting with new ways of being, and sometimes disappointing those who’ve grown accustomed to the old version of you. The mess can be a cocoon from which a more genuine version of yourself emerges. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true!
You’re developing resilience.
Life’s hardest moments—relationship breakups, job losses, health challenges—often leave our lives looking temporarily shattered. But working through these difficulties builds emotional resilience that serves us well in the long run.
Research published in the Journal of Personality shows that adversity can actually contribute to personal growth. The study found that people who had experienced some adversity reported better well-being and mental health outcomes than those who had experienced either high levels of adversity or none at all.
That period of disarray can be the foundation for incredible inner strength.
You’re making space for growth.
Sometimes we need to clear things out—relationships, possessions, habits—to make room for new growth. This clearing process often looks messy in the middle.
Think about when you reorganise a cupboard. There’s always that stage where everything is pulled out and strewn across the floor, looking far worse than when you started. Your life can go through similar phases when you’re making space for better things.
The disorder that comes with clearing out what no longer serves you is a necessary step toward creating room for what does.
You’re becoming more creative.
Creative thinking rarely proceeds in a straight line. If you’re becoming more innovative in how you solve problems or express yourself, your thought processes might seem jumbled to other people, or even to yourself.
Artists’ studios are rarely pristine spaces with everything in its place. They’re usually wonderfully chaotic environments where unexpected connections can happen. If parts of your life are starting to look like an artist’s studio, perhaps you’re developing your creative muscles.
You’re letting go of perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be paralysing. If you’re learning to accept “good enough” instead of exhausting yourself chasing flawlessness, your life might temporarily look less polished.
Research published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that perfectionism is linked with numerous negative health outcomes including increased stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. Their study suggests that learning to accept imperfection can actually improve both productivity and well-being.
That pile of unfolded laundry might actually represent a healthier relationship with yourself.
You’re becoming more adaptable.
In today’s world, which is constantly changing, adaptability might be the most valuable skill we can develop. And adaptive people often appear slightly dishevelled because they’re constantly adjusting to new circumstances rather than clinging to rigid routines.
Adaptive people tend to hold their plans loosely, remaining open to unexpected opportunities and ready to change direction when needed. This readiness for change often looks like disorganisation to more rigid personalities, but it’s actually a sophisticated response to our complex world.
Your apparent disorganisation might actually be an adaptive strategy for a complex life.
You’re making progress, and that’s really what matters.
Sometimes having everything together is less important than moving forward. If you’re making progress toward meaningful goals, a bit of disorder along the way is a small price to pay.
Think about renovation projects. Living in a house that’s being renovated is famously uncomfortable—dust everywhere, rooms out of commission, tools cluttering every surface. But the temporary mess leads to lasting improvements.
The same principle applies to personal development. The path forward isn’t always tidy, but focusing on forward motion rather than perfect execution often leads to better results.
You’re embracing life’s natural cycles.
Nature isn’t tidy. It goes through seasons of growth, abundance, shedding, and dormancy. As part of nature, perhaps we should expect our lives to follow similar patterns rather than maintaining a constant state of order.
Just as a garden needs fallow periods to remain healthy in the long term, we too need times of apparent stagnation or messiness to process experiences and prepare for new growth.
The messy periods might simply be your winter or your stormy season, necessary parts of your personal growth cycle.
Why you should embrace the mess
So next time you feel embarrassed about your chaotic calendar, your unfinished projects, or your general sense of not having it all together, remember that this might actually be evidence of positive change.
True growth rarely happens in a straight line or within neatly organised boundaries. It’s usually messy, unpredictable, and occasionally uncomfortable. The caterpillar doesn’t transform into a butterfly by keeping everything tidy—it literally dissolves itself inside the chrysalis before rebuilding into something new.
Perhaps we should all be a bit more accepting of our chrysalis phases, trusting that something beautiful is taking shape within the apparent chaos. After all, a little disorder might just be the price we pay for becoming more authentic, resilient, creative versions of ourselves.
