There are days when staying positive just feels impossible. Maybe it’s a tough situation at work, a relationship that’s falling apart, or a general sense of being burnt out. The usual advice to “stay positive” or “look on the bright side” can feel hollow when everything feels heavy and overwhelming. It’s on days like this that the idea of forcing a smile or pretending to be upbeat just doesn’t sit right, and that’s okay. Staying positive isn’t always the answer, especially when it feels like a lie. Sometimes, what you really need is something more real and meaningful to help you get through the tough times. These things might help.
Let yourself feel what you’re feeling for once.
The first step to dealing with tough emotions is simply allowing yourself to feel them. We often try to push negative feelings away, thinking that staying positive will make them disappear. But emotions are a part of being human, and they need space to be acknowledged. Whether it’s frustration, sadness, or anger, give yourself permission to feel those emotions without judgement. By allowing yourself to experience them, you can begin to process them in a healthy way, instead of burying them under a forced positive mindset.
Talk to someone who really knows you.
Sometimes, just talking things through with someone who gets it can make a huge difference. You don’t need to have all the answers, and you don’t need to offer a solution—sometimes, you just need to vent. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or family member can be incredibly cathartic. They can offer support, perspective, or simply a safe space to be honest about how you’re feeling. It’s okay to say, “I’m struggling today,” and let someone else be there for you.
Take a step back to create some distance.
When you’re caught up in the chaos of everything, it can feel like your emotions are spiralling out of control. Taking a step back, even for just a moment, can help you gain some clarity. It doesn’t mean you’re running away from your problems—it just means you’re giving yourself the space to breathe. Take a short walk, step into another room, or just close your eyes for a few minutes. This pause can help reset your mental state and make things feel a little less overwhelming.
Let go of the things you can’t control—they’re a waste of time.
When everything feels out of your hands, it’s easy to fall into a sense of helplessness. Instead of trying to control everything, focus on what you can control in the moment. It might be something small, like making a cup of tea, tidying up a little, or responding to an email you’ve been putting off. Small actions can give you a sense of accomplishment and agency, even on days when big goals feel impossible.
Give yourself a break.
We’re often our own harshest critics. When staying positive feels like a lie, it can be tempting to push yourself harder to feel better. But sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to take a break. Whether it’s an afternoon off, a quiet moment to yourself, or simply letting go of expectations for the day, taking time to rest is an important form of self-care. It’s okay to step away and focus on recovery instead of forcing yourself to stay upbeat.
Do something comforting.
When everything feels like a lot, find something that brings you comfort, even if it’s just for a little while. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate self-care routine—sometimes, it’s the simple things that help you reconnect with yourself. Whether it’s watching a favourite TV show, reading a book, or listening to music, find something that makes you feel safe, grounded, or just a little bit lighter. Comforting activities can help you feel more human and less like you’re pretending to be fine.
Stop being lazy and do a bit of exercise.
It might sound like advice you’ve heard a million times, but movement really does help your mental state. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. And you don’t need to run a marathon or commit to an hour of intense workout. A gentle walk, stretching, or even just dancing to your favourite song can help release pent-up stress and improve your mood. It’s less about “fixing” how you feel and more about giving your body the chance to reset, even if just for a short time.
Try a bit of mindfulness, even if you feel a bit silly.
Mindfulness isn’t about pretending everything is perfect—it’s about being present with what is. On days when you feel like staying positive is a lie, try to ground yourself in the moment. This can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, paying attention to what’s going on around you, or noticing the rhythm of your breath. You don’t need to sit in lotus position for hours. Just a few minutes of mindfulness can help quiet your mind and bring some calm in the chaos.
Figure out what’s actually draining you.
When staying positive feels impossible, it helps to figure out what’s actually draining you. Sometimes, we don’t realise the cumulative effect of small stressors or negative situations until they all hit at once. Take a moment to identify what’s contributing to your feelings—whether it’s work, people, or certain habits. Once you identify the source of your stress, you can decide whether it’s something you need to address, let go of, or simply shift your perspective on.
Limit your time on social media.
Social media is great for seeing what everyone is up to and watching adorable puppy videos, but it can also amplify feelings of inadequacy or loneliness, especially on tough days. If you find yourself scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and feeling worse about your own situation, it might be time for a break. You don’t have to give it up entirely, but limiting your time on social media can help you focus more on your own feelings and less on comparisons. Protect your mental space by giving yourself permission to step away.
Be nice to yourself about your struggles.
Sometimes, we make our struggles worse by telling ourselves we should be better at handling things. But the truth is, no one has it all together all the time. It’s okay to not have the answers, to feel lost, or to just not be okay. The more you let go of the need to be perfect or always “on,” the easier it is to simply accept what’s happening. Self-compassion is key here—be kind to yourself in the way you would be kind to a friend going through a tough time.
