When done right, gratitude can improve your mood, enhance your relationships, and even have positive effects on your physical health. The problem is that often time, it ends up feeling… a bit forced. When you’re told to “count your blessings” or “be thankful” in the middle of a rough day, it can feel like you’re just going through the motions. How are you supposed to feel grateful when you’re struggling to get through the day?
The good news is that gratitude doesn’t have to feel fake. In fact, you can practise it in a way that feels real, genuine, and authentic. You don’t have to plaster a smile on your face or ignore your struggles to benefit from gratitude. Here’s how you can start incorporating more appreciation into your life without feeling like you’re just ticking off a box.
Start super small.
When you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, gratitude can seem like a big ask. Instead of trying to come up with huge things to be thankful for, start small. It could be as simple as appreciating the warmth of your tea or the sound of birds outside your window. When you flip your focus to the little moments, you’ll start noticing more things to feel grateful for, without feeling like it’s all forced or fake.
Gratitude doesn’t have to be about big, life-changing events. It’s about recognising the small things that bring a bit of joy or comfort, even on the tough days.
Be specific.
When practising gratitude, don’t just say, “I’m grateful for my family” or “I’m thankful for my job.” Instead, get specific. What exactly about your family are you grateful for? Maybe it’s the way they make you laugh or the support they give you during tough times. Perhaps, with your job, it’s the opportunity to learn new skills or the flexibility it provides.
Being specific makes gratitude feel more real and tangible. It’s not about vague, generic statements; it’s about connecting with the actual things that bring value to your life.
Write it down.
There’s something powerful about putting pen to paper. You don’t need to write a long journal entry every day, but jotting down a few things you’re grateful for can be surprisingly effective. The act of writing makes the process more intentional and helps you focus on what’s important to you.
If you struggle with what to write, try listing just one thing every day that you feel thankful for. Over time, this small act can help shift your mindset and make gratitude feel more natural.
Focus on what’s right, not what’s missing.
It’s easy to get caught up in what’s missing or not going right in our lives. But gratitude is all about shifting your focus. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have or what’s going wrong, focus on what you do have and what’s going well, even if it’s just a small win.
By consciously choosing to notice the positives in your day, you’ll train your mind to see what’s going right, making gratitude feel more authentic rather than forced.
Express it out loud.
Sometimes, gratitude feels more genuine when you share it with other people. If you’re grateful for something or someone, say it out loud. It might be thanking your partner for doing the dishes or telling a friend how much you appreciate their support. Expressing gratitude doesn’t have to be a grand gesture—it can be as simple as acknowledging someone’s kindness.
When you express gratitude aloud, you make it more real, both for yourself and the person you’re thanking. It’s a way of connecting with people in a meaningful, authentic way.
Practise self-gratitude, as well.
We often forget to show gratitude to ourselves. We’re quick to thank other people, but we don’t always take the time to appreciate our own efforts. This could be as simple as acknowledging when you’ve had a productive day or recognising the care you take in looking after your well-being.
Practising self-gratitude helps to change the narrative from feeling like you’re not doing enough to realising the value in what you do every day. It can also improve your self-esteem, making gratitude feel more genuine rather than just a forced exercise.
Make it a routine, not a chore.
Gratitude should be something that flows naturally into your life, not something you feel obligated to do. If you force yourself to write down a list of things you’re grateful for every single day, it might feel like a chore. Instead, find a routine that works for you. Maybe it’s reflecting on what you’re grateful for while having your morning coffee, or sharing a gratitude moment with a loved one before bed.
By making gratitude a part of your everyday life, without the pressure to “do it right,” you’ll find it becomes more authentic.
Find something to be thankful for even in tough times.
This is where gratitude can feel most forced, but it’s also where it can be most powerful. When things aren’t going well, it can feel impossible to find something to be thankful for. But even in tough times, there’s always something. It might be the support of a friend, a good cup of coffee, or the fact that you got through the day.
Gratitude in difficult moments doesn’t mean ignoring your struggles; it means acknowledging that even during hardship, there are small things to appreciate. It’s a way to create balance and remind yourself that, although things are tough, not everything is bad.
Let go of perfection.
You don’t have to be perfectly “grateful” to practise gratitude. In fact, expecting yourself to feel grateful all the time can add unnecessary pressure. Some days, you might struggle to find anything positive. That’s okay. What matters is that you’re making an effort and being honest with yourself.
Perfection is not the goal—authenticity is. Practising gratitude doesn’t mean you have to feel thankful every second of every day. It’s about making space for it in a way that feels real for you.
Try gratitude meditation.
If you’re into mindfulness or meditation, incorporating gratitude into your practice can be a great way to make it feel more authentic. Gratitude meditation usually involves reflecting on what you’re thankful for while staying present in the moment. This can help you focus on the positives in your life without feeling like you’re just ticking a box.
Studies show that gratitude meditation can have a lasting positive impact on mental health, reducing stress and increasing happiness. You don’t need to do it for hours—just a few minutes a day can make a big difference.
Notice the little things.
Sometimes, gratitude feels fake because we’re trying to be thankful for big, life-altering events. But gratitude doesn’t have to be about big moments. It’s about noticing the small things since the quiet moments that often go unnoticed.
Maybe it’s the sound of your favourite song on the radio, the smell of fresh rain, or the fact that you’re enjoying a peaceful moment alone. These small things often hold the most meaning and can make your gratitude practice feel more genuine.
Share your gratitude in creative ways.
If expressing gratitude verbally doesn’t feel like your thing, there are plenty of other creative ways to share it. Write a letter to someone you appreciate. Create a gratitude jar where you write down things you’re thankful for throughout the year. Or maybe you make a gratitude playlist with songs that remind you of the things you’re grateful for.
The point is to get creative with how you express your gratitude. It doesn’t have to be a traditional “thank you” or a written list; it’s about finding a way to express it that feels right for you.
Keep it real.
The most important thing in practising gratitude is to keep it real. Don’t force it if you’re not feeling it. It’s okay if you’re not grateful for everything, and it’s okay if some days you struggle to find things to appreciate. The goal isn’t to fake it, it’s to acknowledge the things that bring you joy, even if they’re small or simple.
When gratitude feels authentic, it can have a profound impact on your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about recognising the good things, even when life feels challenging.
