When you grow up being told—directly or subtly—that your body isn’t good enough, it sticks.
Whether it was school bullies, toxic beauty standards, diet culture, or even family comments disguised as “concern,” the message gets planted deep. Unfortunately, unlearning that kind of self-hate isn’t something you can fix with a single mirror pep talk. But there are ways to slowly take your body back—not just in appearance, but in ownership, safety, and care. These aren’t quick fixes, and they’re not about “loving your body” on command. They’re about building a new relationship with it, piece by piece. Here’s how to do it.
1. Stop thinking your body has to earn rest or food.
One of the biggest lies we’re taught is that you have to do something to deserve comfort—exercise before eating, work hard before you rest. The thing is, your body isn’t a transaction. It’s a living thing that needs fuel, sleep, water, and softness whether or not you hit some invisible standard. Reclaiming your body starts with refusing to treat it like a project that’s only allowed rewards if it performs the way someone else says it should.
This can feel strange at first, especially if you were raised to see rest or pleasure as “indulgent.” However, every time you feed yourself when you’re hungry or let yourself lie down just because you’re tired, you’re reminding your body that it matters now, not when it shrinks or looks different. That’s a quiet kind of rebellion, and it counts.
2. Wear what feels good, not what you think you’re supposed to.
So much of body shame gets tied up in clothes—what flatters, what hides, what distracts from the parts you were taught to hate. However, getting dressed doesn’t have to be about camouflaging yourself. It can be about comfort, colour, texture, softness. If something makes you feel free, calm, or confident, that’s the only rule that matters.
You don’t need to wait until you look a certain way to wear a certain thing. The world has sold us this idea that style is earned, not innate, but that’s not true. Your body, exactly as it is, is allowed to feel good in fabric. You’re allowed to take up space in ways that feel expressive, not apologetic.
3. Move your body in ways that feel like care, not punishment.
Exercise has been warped into something you’re “supposed to do” to shrink, tone, or change yourself. But movement is about so much more than that. It can be playful, meditative, grounding, or even joyful—if you let it be. Walking, stretching, dancing in your room, or just breathing deeply can all be ways of saying, “I want to feel more at home in here.”
Reclaiming your body through movement doesn’t mean forcing yourself into a rigid fitness routine. It means asking what your body actually needs, and then giving it that without expecting it to become something else. You’re not broken or lazy for wanting to move differently. You’re just human, reconnecting.
4. Stop letting mirrors dictate your mood.
You’re allowed to look in the mirror and not have an opinion. You’re allowed to walk past one without checking, comparing, or critiquing. Mirrors can become battlegrounds when you’ve spent years being told your reflection is the measure of your worth. However, they don’t have to hold that power forever.
Start noticing how you feel in your body, not just how it looks. Pay attention to moments of ease, strength, or calm. Mirrors can lie, especially when they reflect back society’s twisted priorities. The thing is, your body’s lived experience—that stretch, that sigh, that exhale—doesn’t lie. Trust that more.
5. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel like your body is a problem.
Social media can either fuel shame or help you heal—it all depends on who you’re letting into your space. If your feed is full of edited bodies, transformation posts, or “wellness” advice that makes you feel like you need fixing, it’s okay to hit unfollow. You don’t owe anyone your mental peace.
Instead, fill your feed with bodies that look like yours, speak truthfully, or make you feel seen. Representation isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a mirror, and it can help rewire the way you see yourself. You deserve to see images that expand what’s considered beautiful, strong, or worthy—not shrink it.
6. Start listening to your body’s signals again.
When you’ve been taught to ignore hunger, suppress emotion, or push past exhaustion, it’s hard to even recognise what your body is saying. Reclaiming it means learning that language again—slowly, gently, without judgement. You might not always know the difference between hunger and anxiety or fatigue and burnout, but tuning in is a good place to start.
Start small. Notice when you’re tense, thirsty, overstimulated, or needing comfort. You don’t need to fix it right away—just acknowledging the signal is powerful. As time goes on, your body learns that it’s safe to speak up again. And that can change everything.
7. Let yourself feel good in your skin, without guilt.
If you’ve spent years being ashamed, feeling good in your body can feel almost… wrong. Like you’re breaking some unspoken rule by enjoying how you move, rest, laugh, or stretch. Of course, pleasure isn’t something to earn—it’s something your body is wired for. That includes comfort, softness, warmth, and yes, even joy.
Let yourself lean into those good feelings without shutting them down. That cosy hoodie, that soft blanket, that stretch after a long nap—they’re not frivolous. They’re evidence that you’re building a relationship with your body that’s rooted in kindness, not shame.
8. Reclaim old photos with a new perspective.
It’s easy to look at old pictures of yourself and zoom in on what you hated at the time—your thighs, your skin, your posture. However, if you look again, you might see something else: the laugh in your eyes, the freedom in your stance, the story behind that moment. Those photos can tell you more than just what you looked like.
Instead of cringing, try to remember what you were feeling, who you were with, what that day meant. Over time, you might even start to realise you were never as “flawed” as you thought. That change in perspective is healing in motion.
9. Set boundaries with people who still comment on your body.
Some people mean well, and others don’t. Either way, your body is not public property, and you don’t owe anyone updates on your weight, health, or appearance. If someone constantly comments, positively or negatively, it’s okay to ask them to stop. Your comfort matters more than their opinion.
Setting that boundary might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if it’s someone close to you, but your body is not a topic of casual conversation. It deserves respect, not scrutiny. And standing up for that respect is a powerful act of self-protection.
10. Redefine what health means on your terms.
“Health” has been twisted into code for thinness, restriction, and constant self-discipline, but real health isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s about how you feel, how you function, and how you care for yourself, not how much you weigh or how other people see you. Reclaiming your body also means reclaiming what wellness actually looks like for you.
That might include therapy, sleep, less stress, more play, or deeper breaths. It might mean eating more, not less. Your body is unique, and so is what it needs. Listening to that instead of chasing some social media version of “fit” is one of the most radical things you can do.
11. Reconnect with touch—on your own terms.
Touch can be a complicated thing, especially if your body’s been judged, objectified, or violated. However, it can also be healing, if you approach it with care. Reconnecting might mean soft blankets, warm baths, stretching, self-massage, or lying in the sun. It’s not about performance—it’s about presence.
Even placing your hand on your chest and taking a deep breath can start to rebuild trust between you and your body. You don’t need to rush into anything. Just know that safe, gentle touch can remind your nervous system that this body is yours—and it deserves softness, not shame.
12. Give your body a purpose beyond how it looks.
Your body is not just a visual object. It carries you, feels things, hugs your loved ones, walks you through grief, holds joy, lets you dance, eat, cry, sleep, and heal. Reclaiming it means remembering all the things it allows you to do, not just how it looks to other people.
You don’t exist to be pretty, small, or impressive. You exist to live, and your body, even when tired or scarred or shaped differently than you were told it should be, is still part of that. You’re allowed to take up space in this life. Not later—now.
13. Be patient when it still feels hard.
Some days you’ll feel okay in your body. Other days, not so much. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human, healing from years of damage that wasn’t your fault. This work isn’t linear. It’s layered, messy, and full of contradictions.
What matters is that you keep showing up for yourself with curiosity instead of shame. You’re not here to reach some perfect place of “body love.” You’re here to rebuild trust, and that happens in the quiet, clumsy moments when you choose care over criticism, even if just once a day.
14. Remember that you were never the problem.
The real issue was never your thighs, your belly, or your skin. It was the system that told you those things made you unworthy. The ads, the schoolyard comments, the adult who made you feel small—they planted the hate. You were just trying to survive it.
Now, you get to unlearn it. Slowly, honestly, and in your own time. Every time you choose gentleness, every time you see yourself with a little less judgement, you’re undoing something harmful, and that’s not small. That’s powerful, and it’s yours to keep.
