Masking doesn’t always mean pretending to be someone else.
Instead, it comes out in the things that are said that sound perfectly fine on the outside, while hiding a completely different experience underneath. These phrases might seem casual or even upbeat, but for neurodivergent people, they’re often subtle signs that something’s not as okay as it seems.
1. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
This one gets used a lot, partly because it’s vague enough not to invite too many questions. Fatigue is easy to understand, but the kind of exhaustion that comes from masking all day is on another level entirely.
Behind this phrase might be sensory overload, social burnout, or emotional fatigue from trying to appear ‘normal’ in environments that don’t really allow for difference. Saying “I’m tired” often feels safer than explaining everything else that’s going on.
2. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
“I’m fine” can be the biggest lie someone tells with a smile. It’s often used to shut down conversations, especially when explaining the truth feels overwhelming or pointless. For many neurodivergent people, masking means constantly scanning for what’s socially acceptable to say, and “I’m fine” is a go-to that keeps things surface-level and easy to move past, even when it’s far from the truth.
3. “I just need to try harder.”
This phrase is rooted in internalised pressure to meet neurotypical expectations, even when they’re unrealistic or harmful. It often comes from years of being told that struggling was a personal failing rather than a sign that support is needed. Masking often includes convincing yourself that pushing through is the solution. However, underneath it, there’s usually frustration, burnout, and the quiet belief that asking for help would somehow mean giving up.
4. “I’m just being dramatic.”
Many neurodivergent people learn to downplay their sensory sensitivities, social stress, or emotional reactions by framing them as over-the-top. Saying they’re being dramatic is a way of softening the truth before someone else tries to invalidate it first. It’s often pre-emptive, a way to stay ahead of judgement. However, it can also be a sign that they’ve stopped trusting their own perception of what’s hard, and are starting to believe they’re the problem instead.
5. “I’m not great with people, sorry.”
Social masking can be exhausting, especially when it involves analysing every interaction, rehearsing conversations in your head, and constantly second-guessing how you come across. This usually isn’t just about shyness; it’s a quiet way of saying, “This is really hard for me, but I’m doing my best.” It often hides a lot of effort that goes unnoticed because the mask is doing its job a little too well.
6. “I’m just bad at adulting.”
Tasks like managing time, remembering appointments, or maintaining a tidy home can be genuinely difficult for many neurodivergent people, but instead of acknowledging the real challenges behind them, this turns it into a self-deprecating joke. It keeps things light and relatable on the surface, but often underneath is a lot of shame or overwhelm that’s quietly building up. The humour is real, but so is the struggle.
7. “It’s not a big deal, I’m probably overthinking it.”
Overthinking is often used as a catch-all excuse when someone’s worried they’re reacting too strongly to something, but for neurodivergent people, that deep thinking isn’t always optional. It’s how their brain processes the world. Masking shows up in these kinds of statements when someone’s trying to dismiss their own valid emotional reactions in order to seem more ‘reasonable’ or less sensitive than they really feel.
8. “I just need to be more organised.”
Executive dysfunction is real, but the way it’s talked about often sounds like a personal failure. People end up blaming themselves when systems aren’t working, rather than realising the systems weren’t designed with them in mind in the first place. Masking can look like setting up colour-coded planners or elaborate routines that look impressive, but underneath, there’s often a sense of panic about staying afloat at all.
9. “I’m just sensitive to certain things, but it’s fine.”
Whether it’s noise, texture, lights, or smells, sensory overwhelm is common for many neurodivergent people, but masking often means brushing it off, playing it down, or pretending it’s not affecting them as much as it actually is. Adding “but it’s fine” is a way to make everyone else feel more comfortable, even if the person saying it is actively uncomfortable. It’s about keeping the peace, even at a personal cost.
10. “I probably misunderstood.”
This one comes from years of having your interpretation of things questioned or dismissed. If you’re neurodivergent, you might start assuming you’re the one who’s always reading it wrong, even when you’re not. Masking often involves second-guessing your instincts and defaulting to self-blame in conversations. Saying “I probably misunderstood” is a protective move—because if you admit you were confused first, no one else gets to say it for you.
11. “I just don’t like change much.”
For some people, this is a mild preference. For many neurodivergent people, it’s a full-body stress response that can derail an entire day. However, masking that discomfort means phrasing it in a way that sounds socially acceptable and easy to overlook. This is often a placeholder for something much bigger—something that comes with anxiety, overwhelm, and the desperate need for structure that isn’t always obvious from the outside.
12. “I’m just having an off day.”
It sounds simple, and it keeps people from digging deeper. But for neurodivergent people, that “off” feeling might actually be sensory burnout, emotional fatigue, or shutdown that’s been brewing for days or weeks. This phrase is a quick way to stay functional in public without opening up the whole conversation. It’s not dishonest; it’s just easier than trying to explain something that feels impossible to put into words at the time.
13. “I’m just quirky like that.”
Turning differences into personality traits can sometimes be a clever way of softening how other people react. If something about you stands out, calling it quirky can make it sound harmless, even endearing. However, often, this is a way of masking something that’s actually been a source of struggle. Framing it as “quirky” hides the effort that goes into navigating a world that doesn’t always accommodate that difference.
14. “It’s not a big deal, I’ll figure it out.”
This phrase is a common way of brushing off something that’s actually a huge deal, but asking for help feels too vulnerable, or too exhausting to explain. It’s a way of staying in control, even when you’re quietly panicking. People might assume you’ve got it handled because of how calm you sound, but masking often means making it look easy when it’s really not. Saying you’ll “figure it out” sometimes just means you don’t feel safe asking for support.
15. “This is just how I’ve always been.”
It sounds like acceptance, but sometimes it’s more about resignation. If you’ve spent years feeling misunderstood or dismissed, it’s easier to say this than to keep trying to explain what makes things hard for you. It’s not always masking in the obvious sense, but it is a way of closing the door on vulnerability. Underneath it, there’s often a quiet hope that someone might notice the struggle anyway, and meet it with understanding instead of judgement.
