We’re often told to stay strong, keep going, and to push through when things get tough. It’s all well-intentioned advice, for sure, but it can create an unspoken pressure to always appear fine, even when we’re not. We’re conditioned to believe that vulnerability equals weakness, and that admitting we’re struggling somehow reflects poorly on us. However, the truth is that saying “I’m not okay” is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself, and it’s more important than you might think. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human—and it opens the door to healing, support, and connection.
Telling people openly that you’re not at your best is a form of self-awareness and honesty. It’s a way of acknowledging that you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, tired, or simply not yourself. It’s not about looking for sympathy or playing the victim; it’s about recognising that you’re not at your best and that it’s okay to not be okay. Here’s why being open about your struggles can be incredibly powerful, both for you and for those around you.
It helps break down the stigma of vulnerability.
We live in a world where there’s a lot of pressure to appear “put together” at all times. Whether it’s social media or just the daily demands of life, we’re constantly bombarded with messages about how we “should” be handling things. The truth is, no one is okay all the time, and that’s perfectly fine. By admitting when you’re not okay, you help break down the stigma that surrounds vulnerability. You show that it’s okay to not have everything figured out, and that asking for help or admitting you’re struggling is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. The more we normalise vulnerability, the more we create a space where other people can also feel safe to admit their own struggles.
It’s the first step toward healing.
One of the biggest reasons people avoid owning up to not being okay is because they’re afraid it might make their situation worse. But in reality, acknowledging your emotions is the first step toward healing. When you admit that you’re not okay, you create space for yourself to process your feelings, rather than burying them or pushing them down. Suppressing emotions can lead to burnout, anxiety, or even depression. But when you let yourself feel what you’re feeling and speak it aloud, you give yourself the chance to start healing, whether it’s by getting support or simply allowing yourself to take a breath.
It encourages meaningful connection.
When you admit that you’re not okay, you open the door for people to connect with you on a deeper level. People who care about you can offer their support, whether it’s a listening ear, advice, or just being there. In many ways, vulnerability is what strengthens relationships. When we open up about our struggles, we show everyone around us that it’s safe to do the same, and that we don’t have to face challenges alone. You’d be surprised how many people are going through similar experiences, and simply voicing your feelings can help create a sense of shared understanding and compassion.
It allows you to ask for what you need.
Saying “I’m not okay” is not just about expressing your emotions; it’s also a way to communicate your needs. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or drained, saying those words can help you set boundaries, seek help, or simply take a break. You might need someone to listen, or perhaps you need a moment to yourself. Admitting that you’re not okay lets you identify what you need in that moment, whether it’s a change of pace, emotional support, or even just some time to recharge. Without saying it, you can’t expect people to know what’s going on or how to help, but when you speak up, you give them the opportunity to be there for you.
It challenges the idea of “perfection.”
We’re all taught, in one way or another, that we need to have it all together. The idea of perfection is ingrained in us from a young age, whether it’s in school, work, or our personal lives. We’re told that we should be able to handle everything, and that being strong means never showing weakness. But admitting that you’re not okay challenges that notion. It forces you to embrace the messiness of life and realise that nobody, no matter how successful or seemingly “perfect,” is immune to tough times. Perfection is not the goal; being authentic, human, and willing to embrace your imperfections is what matters.
It empowers other people to speak up too.
When you speak openly about not being okay, you encourage everyone else to do the same. By showing vulnerability, you create a ripple effect that empowers those around you to share their struggles as well. This creates a sense of solidarity, where people feel less isolated and more understood. The simple act of admitting that you’re not doing that well right now can encourage people to recognise that they don’t have to hide their emotions. It can create a culture of empathy and support, where everyone feels safe to express their feelings without fear of judgement.
It’s a form of self-compassion.
We’re often our own harshest critics, pushing ourselves to do more, be more, and achieve more. We tell ourselves that we should be able to handle everything on our own. But by admitting that we’re not okay, we practise self-compassion. We allow ourselves to acknowledge our limitations and offer ourselves the care and understanding we’d give to a friend in a similar situation. Being gentle with ourselves doesn’t mean giving up—it means recognising that we all have our struggles and that it’s okay to not always be okay. Practising this kind of self-compassion can help build resilience, allowing us to bounce back from tough situations with more strength and clarity.
It creates a space for growth.
When you admit that you’re not okay, you’re acknowledging that there’s room for growth. It’s a sign that you’re aware of your emotional and mental state, and that you’re open to change. By being honest about where you are, you give yourself the opportunity to evaluate what’s working in your life and what’s not. From there, you can take steps to make positive changes, whether that’s through self-care, asking for help, or making adjustments in your routine. Growth starts with awareness, and saying “I’m not okay” is the first step in identifying where growth is needed.
It removes the pressure to “fix” everything.
So often, when people know you’re struggling, they feel the need to offer solutions. They want to fix the situation, to make it better right away. While well-meaning, this can sometimes add pressure to an already overwhelming situation. By simply saying “I’m not okay,” you release that pressure. You’re not asking for someone to solve everything for you; you’re just asking for space to be heard. It’s simple, but it allows people to support you in a way that feels less transactional and more human. They can simply be there with you, without the need to “fix” things.
