We all get lonely sometimes. Whether it’s feeling disconnected, missing a loved one, or just struggling with the weight of isolation, loneliness can feel heavy. But when you’re in that space, it’s easy to fall into habits that, while comforting in the moment, actually make things worse in the long run. Here are the 10 worst things you can do when you’re lonely — and why they won’t help, no matter how tempting they seem.
1. Scrolling endlessly through social media
It’s the easiest thing in the world: picking up your phone and scrolling through social media, thinking it will help you feel more connected. But all you end up doing is seeing everyone else’s highlight reels and feeling worse about yourself. People post the best parts of their lives, which makes it easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself and your situation to theirs. The more you scroll, the more disconnected you may feel. It’s like trying to quench your thirst with salty water — tempting in the moment, but it only leaves you feeling worse in the end.
2. Reaching out to someone just to fill the silence
It’s totally natural to want to reach out when you’re feeling lonely. But texting or calling just anyone for the sake of filling the silence might not help you feel better. Sure, it feels good to get a reply, but if the conversation isn’t meaningful or if the person on the other end isn’t really there for you, it can leave you feeling emptier than before. It’s better to connect with someone you trust and genuinely want to talk to, rather than just reaching out for the sake of it. Otherwise, you’re just adding another layer of surface-level interaction to the loneliness.
3. Overindulging in unhealthy habits
Whether it’s eating comfort food, drinking a bit too much, or binge-watching Netflix for hours on end, overindulging in unhealthy habits might seem like a way to numb the loneliness. But in reality, these habits just create more issues down the line. Overeating can leave you feeling sluggish and more disconnected from your body. Drinking can lead to feeling worse the next day, both physically and mentally. And binge-watching shows all day means you’re zoning out rather than engaging with your feelings and addressing what’s going on beneath the surface.
4. Staying in bed all day
It’s tempting to just pull the covers over your head and avoid the world when you’re feeling lonely. But staying in bed all day is actually a quick way to make yourself feel more isolated. Yes, your bed is comforting, but it’s not a solution to loneliness. When you’re isolated in your bed, you’re only creating more physical and mental distance between you and the world. Getting up, even for a walk or to make a cup of tea, can help break the cycle and give you a small sense of purpose or accomplishment.
5. Getting lost in negative thoughts
When you’re lonely, it’s easy for your mind to spiral into negative thinking. You might start believing things like, “I’m unloveable,” “I’ll always be alone,” or “I’ll never be happy.” These negative thoughts might seem real in the moment, but they aren’t true. The more you entertain them, the harder it will be to snap out of that loneliness. Instead of letting your mind race, try to focus on something positive, no matter how small. Reframing your thoughts, even in tiny ways, can help shift your perspective and take the edge off.
6. Ignoring your feelings
Loneliness isn’t something to be brushed aside. If you try to ignore how you’re feeling, it’ll just come back stronger later on. Suppressing emotions never works. You can try distracting yourself, but eventually, the loneliness will creep back in, and you’ll have to deal with it anyway. Acknowledging that you’re lonely, without judging yourself for it, can help you process it and move forward in a healthier way. Talking to someone about it or simply sitting with your feelings can be surprisingly helpful.
7. Spending too much time with people who don’t make you feel good
When you’re lonely, it’s easy to gravitate towards people who might not be the best company. Maybe you hang out with people who aren’t really friends, or who make you feel worse about yourself. The problem with this is that even though they may fill the space, they don’t fill your emotional needs. The result? You’re still left feeling lonely, just with a different set of circumstances. It’s important to pursue relationships that are uplifting, supportive, and genuine, not just ones that keep you busy or distracted for a while.
8. Trying to ‘fill’ the loneliness with stuff
Buying things online or going on a shopping spree might seem like an easy fix for loneliness. Sure, a new purchase can give you a quick hit of happiness, but it’s only temporary. Stuff doesn’t fill the emotional gaps that loneliness leaves. The feeling fades, and you’re back where you started — feeling unfulfilled. Instead of reaching for material things, focus on experiences or meaningful connections that truly enrich your life.
9. Thinking you need to “fix” your loneliness right away
It’s easy to think that loneliness is something that needs to be fixed immediately. But sometimes, trying to solve the problem too quickly adds more pressure. It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. That doesn’t make you weak or flawed. In fact, embracing that loneliness as a normal emotion can help you process it and move through it with a bit more ease. You don’t need to force a solution or fill the silence with distractions; letting yourself experience it without judgment can actually help you get past it faster.
10. Comparing your loneliness to other people’s social lives
Social media, once again, can be a dangerous place when it comes to loneliness. It’s so easy to compare your life to everyone else’s, especially when it looks like everyone else is out having a blast, making memories, or surrounded by friends. The truth is, those highlight reels don’t tell the whole story. Everyone experiences loneliness in some form, even if they’re surrounded by people. Comparing yourself to anyone else just amplifies your own feelings of isolation. Instead, focus on what you can do to improve your own situation, without measuring it against someone else’s.
11. Relying on social media for validation
When you’re lonely, you might find yourself posting something on social media just to get some likes or comments. It feels nice to get a little bit of attention, right? But in reality, that validation doesn’t solve the underlying issue of loneliness. It’s a quick fix that leaves you feeling empty afterward. Real connection comes from meaningful interactions with people who care about you, not from how many hearts or thumbs-up you get on a post.
12. Waiting for someone else to “make it better”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of waiting for someone else to come along and fix your loneliness, whether that’s waiting for a friend to reach out, a partner to call, or someone to “save” you from your emotions. The problem is, no one can fix your loneliness for you. The best thing you can do is start taking small steps to feel better on your own. Maybe that’s getting outside, talking to a loved one, or simply doing something you enjoy — take your pick. Waiting for other people to make the first move often prolongs the feeling of loneliness instead of helping it.
