Anxiety can make life feel like you’re constantly walking around with a weight on your shoulders. For those who experience it regularly, certain things just make sense. They’re like little survival mechanisms that keep us afloat, even though they might seem strange to people who don’t deal with anxiety. If you’re an anxious person, you probably have habits or ways of thinking that make total sense to you, but to other people, they’re a bit baffling.
1. Double-checking everything, even if you’ve done it a million times
You’ve probably checked your phone, your bag, or your keys over and over before heading out the door. It’s like you can’t leave until you’ve confirmed that everything is exactly as it should be. To other people, this might look like you don’t trust your own memory or that you’re being extra, but for you, it’s a way to feel in control and reduce that nagging sense that you’ve forgotten something important. You know deep down that you’ve probably already locked the door, but that tiny what if in your head makes you need to check just one more time.
2. Feeling drained after social events, even when you’ve had a good time
People with anxiety tend to get worn out after socialising, even if it’s something they genuinely enjoy. It’s not the fun part that’s draining, it’s the underlying tension that’s always there — figuring out what to say, second-guessing everything, worrying about how people see you and what they think of you. It’s like running a mental marathon, even if you’re having a good time. To people who don’t have anxiety, this might seem odd. After all, socialising is supposed to be fun, right? But for someone with anxiety, it’s often a full-on emotional workout.
3. Saying “sorry” way more than you probably need to
If you have anxiety, chances are you say “sorry” a lot, sometimes for things that aren’t even your fault. It’s like a reflex, especially when you feel uncomfortable or unsure of yourself. Even if you’re not in the wrong, you might apologise just to smooth things over. To some people, it might seem unnecessary or like you’re overcompensating, but for you, it’s a way of easing tension and avoiding any potential conflict. It’s almost like a safety net, even when it’s not needed.
4. Overthinking small decisions for way too long
The simplest decisions can feel like huge dilemmas when you’re anxious. Whether it’s choosing what to have for dinner or deciding what to wear, you might overthink it to the point where you end up feeling exhausted just trying to make a choice. To the people around you, it may look like you’re overcomplicating things, but for you, it’s the fear of making the “wrong” decision, no matter how small it is. The anxiety isn’t about the choice itself; it’s about the potential consequences or how it might impact everyone else.
5. Avoiding certain situations that seem perfectly normal to other people
Whether it’s making phone calls, going to a social gathering, or speaking up in a meeting, you might avoid situations that seem routine to everyone else. It’s not that you don’t want to participate or that you’re antisocial; it’s that your anxiety makes even the simplest of tasks feel overwhelming. The thought of doing something “normal” can trigger a sense of dread, and instead of dealing with the stress, you find ways to avoid it. To those who don’t experience anxiety, this avoidance can be confusing, but for you, it’s about protecting your mental state.
6. Needing to have a plan (or two or three) for everything
If you have anxiety, you’re probably a planner. You like knowing exactly what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen, and what steps need to be taken to make it happen. The idea of uncertainty can be unsettling, so having a plan in place for everything, even the smallest things, helps you feel more in control. For people who don’t experience anxiety, this might seem like you’re overthinking things or being rigid, but for you, a plan is like a safety blanket that helps manage the chaos in your mind.
7. Feeling the need to explain yourself even when it’s unnecessary
Ever felt the need to explain your actions, even when you really don’t have to? Maybe you’ve had a conversation where you feel the need to justify why you said something or why you made a certain choice, even if no one asked. People without anxiety might think this is over-explaining, but for you, it’s a way of reassuring yourself and the other person that your intentions were good. It’s like needing validation to make sure you haven’t upset anyone or done something wrong.
8. Being overly sensitive to other people’s moods
When you have anxiety, you might find yourself hyper-aware of the emotions and moods of those around you. If someone’s in a bad mood or acting distant, you might internalise that and assume it’s your fault, even if it isn’t. Your sensitivity to other people’s feelings can leave you feeling drained and anxious, as you try to “fix” the situation or make things right. To everyone around you, it might look like you’re taking on too much responsibility, but for you, it’s about trying to make sure everything is okay and everyone is happy.
9. Constantly needing reassurance
If you find yourself constantly asking (whether via words or behaviour) for reassurance about a decision you’ve made, how you look, or what someone thinks of you, it’s likely because of anxiety. It’s not about being insecure, it’s about needing that extra confirmation to calm your mind. While some people may think it’s excessive, for you, it’s a way of quieting those nagging “what if” thoughts that tend to spiral out of control. Reassurance helps you feel grounded, even if only for a moment.
10. Having a constant internal monologue
Do you find that your mind is constantly talking to you? Like a voice in your head that’s constantly processing things, judging your actions, and rehashing conversations long after they’ve ended? That internal monologue is a classic trait of anxiety. While some people can let things go, you’re always running things through your head, analysing every detail. For other people, this might seem exhausting, but for you, it’s just part of how you process everything around you.
11. Overplanning your responses to conversations that might never happen
When you have anxiety, you might overthink what you’re going to say before you even say it. Whether it’s responding to a text, starting a conversation, or preparing for an event, you rehearse your responses in your head, sometimes even days before it happens. To someone who doesn’t deal with anxiety, this can seem a bit much, but for you, it’s about feeling prepared and not letting any situation catch you off guard. You want to make sure everything goes smoothly, even if it means worrying about it ahead of time.
12. Feeling like you’ve ruined something when it’s actually fine
After a conversation, a meeting, or even just a casual interaction, do you find yourself stressing over whether you said the wrong thing or made a bad impression, even when everything went fine? That overthinking comes from anxiety, and it often makes you feel like you’ve ruined something when, in reality, it was completely fine. While other people might move on quickly, your mind goes over the event repeatedly, picking apart every word or gesture to figure out if you messed up. It’s exhausting, but it’s also a part of how your anxious brain processes situations.
