Sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re actually doing okay, especially when life doesn’t look picture-perfect, or you’re still working through things.
However, being in a good place isn’t about everything being easy or flawless. It’s often about how grounded, self-aware, and emotionally steady you feel deep down, even when the outside stuff is messy. You don’t need to tick every box or reach every goal. It’s more about the slow, quiet signs that you’re building something that feels like it fits you. If you can honestly answer yes to most of these questions, chances are, you’re doing far better than you give yourself credit for.
1. Do you feel mostly at peace when you’re alone?
If your own company doesn’t feel like a punishment, but something you can actually enjoy, that’s a big indicator of inner calm. Feeling settled when it’s just you means you’re not running from yourself, and that’s rarer than it should be. It also shows that you’ve stopped outsourcing your happiness to other people or constant distractions. You’re not just killing time—you’re okay with time spent quietly, and that’s powerful in its own way.
2. Are you able to say “no” without over-explaining?
Being able to say no without scrambling to justify it means you’ve started valuing your peace more than people’s approval. You’re giving yourself permission to protect your time and energy without guilt-tripping yourself afterwards. Plus, when you stop tying your worth to how agreeable or “easy” you are, you realise that healthy people respect your boundaries instead of pushing past them.
3. Do you genuinely look forward to at least one thing in your week?
Even if life isn’t where you want it to be yet, having one small thing to look forward to is a big deal. That glimmer of anticipation means you haven’t shut down your joy receptors. You’re still open to good things. Whether it’s a morning coffee ritual, a silly podcast, or just a walk with your thoughts, those moments carry more weight than we realise. They stitch the week together and quietly remind you that pleasure isn’t something you have to earn.
4. Can you admit when you’re wrong without spiralling?
If you can say, “Yeah, I got that wrong,” without falling into a shame pit, you’ve built something solid in yourself. You’re not fragile around mistakes anymore. You can take accountability without letting it wreck your confidence. This means you’ve separated your behaviour from your identity—you’re human, you learn, you move on. That’s emotional maturity, and it makes relationships smoother, too.
5. Do you feel like your relationships are more nourishing than draining?
When your connections feel like a safe place to land instead of something you need to recover from, you’re in a good space. It shows you’re choosing better, setting firmer boundaries, and valuing emotional safety over familiarity. That change might’ve come after a lot of trial and error, but if the people in your life now bring out the real you, not the edited version, you’re definitely doing something right.
6. Are you no longer triggered by the things that once wrecked you?
If you’ve noticed that certain situations or comments don’t shake you like they used to, that’s a sign of serious growth. You’re not bottling things up; you’re just responding from a calmer place. This doesn’t mean you’ve become cold or detached. It means your nervous system has started trusting you again. You’ve shown it, over time, that you’ve got your own back.
7. Do you sleep fairly well most nights?
Sleep is often the first thing to fall apart when something’s wrong. So if you’re regularly getting rest without lying awake thinking through everything that’s ever happened, your mind is probably more at ease than you think. Rest isn’t just about closing your eyes—it’s about feeling safe enough to let go of the day. That kind of trust in your own life doesn’t happen overnight, but when it does, it’s worth everything.
8. Are you making choices that align with what matters to you?
Living in alignment isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just quietly choosing what feels right, even if it’s inconvenient or misunderstood by other people. If your choices reflect your values more than your fears, that’s a huge win. Maybe you’re working toward a slower life, or staying in a job that lights you up instead of chasing a higher salary. If those choices are based on what truly matters to you, you’re shaping something solid.
9. Do you catch yourself feeling proud more than you used to?
When you pause after something hard and think, “I handled that well,” that’s more meaningful than outside praise. It’s your own inner compass saying, “Hey, I’m growing.” That pride isn’t rooted in ego—it’s rooted in progress. It means you’re noticing your own effort and trusting your ability to keep showing up, even when no one’s watching.
10. Are you okay with people not always liking you?
If you’ve stopped contorting yourself into versions of who other people want you to be, you’ve reclaimed your energy in a big way. You’re not living to make everyone comfortable; you’re living honestly. This might mean some people drift away, sure, but it also means the ones who stay are choosing the real you. Honestly, that kind of clarity is priceless.
11. Do you let yourself rest without guilt?
If rest no longer feels like a reward you have to earn, but something you deserve by default, you’ve broken a big cultural spell. The hustle mindset doesn’t own you anymore. You know you’re not a machine. You treat yourself like someone worth caring for. That might seem small, but it changes everything—from your health to your relationships to your overall capacity to cope.
12. Do you reflect on your feelings instead of avoiding them?
When you can sit with your own messiness without jumping straight to fixing or denying it, you’ve built real emotional strength. Reflection is where self-awareness grows, and self-awareness is where healing begins. You’re not afraid of your own mind anymore. That’s what makes space for change—the kind that lasts, not just looks good on paper.
13. Are you being kinder to yourself than you were last year?
If your inner voice is less cruel, more patient, and occasionally even encouraging, you’re in a better place than you think. Self-kindness isn’t fluffy—it’s radical. It changes how you recover from everything. Even if the progress feels slow or clumsy, that voice matters. It becomes the way you talk yourself through life. Softer doesn’t mean weaker, it means safer.
14. Do you feel like you’re becoming more yourself, not less?
If you’ve stopped watering yourself down or playing roles just to get through the day, that’s a huge sign of emotional clarity. You’re not just surviving anymore—you’re becoming. The version of you that’s taking shape now might not have it all figured out, but it’s real. And that’s the version that will build a life that actually fits.
