For a lot of people, especially those who were taught to be polite, quiet, or accommodating at all costs, taking up space can feel like breaking a rule.
You don’t want to be a bother, take the spotlight, or seem like you’re asking for too much. But here’s the thing—existing fully, with opinions, needs, emotions, and a body that takes up room, is not something you have to apologise for. Taking up space isn’t selfish. It’s not rude. It’s part of showing up in your own life like you matter, and you do. Here’s how to do it without shrinking, backtracking, or softening yourself just to make other people more comfortable.
1. Say what you mean, even if your voice shakes a little.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of overexplaining, padding your words, or hedging every sentence with “I don’t know if this makes sense but…” Saying what you mean clearly, even if it’s simple or awkward, sends the message that your thoughts have weight. You don’t need to deliver your opinion with perfect confidence. You just need to say it like it matters, because it does.
Even if you feel unsure at first, speaking up without the extra disclaimers builds self-trust over time. You learn that your voice won’t shatter anything. The more you practise saying what you actually think or feel, the easier it becomes to hold space in conversations without second-guessing your right to be heard.
2. Claim your physical space without feeling guilty about it.
Whether it’s stretching out on the sofa, walking through a crowd without shrinking, or standing tall instead of curling inward, owning your physical presence is a form of self-respect. So many of us have been taught to make ourselves smaller—crossing our arms, lowering our voices, moving out of the way instinctively. However, your body deserves space, comfort, and confidence just like anyone else’s.
That doesn’t mean taking up space at other people’s expense. It just means not treating your own body like an inconvenience. You’re allowed to sit comfortably. You’re allowed to walk into a room and not apologise for being there, and you don’t have to shrink to deserve kindness or consideration.
3. Stop apologising for having needs.
You’re not “too much” for needing rest, reassurance, clarity, or space. Needs don’t make you weak—they make you human. When you downplay them or say sorry for expressing them, you reinforce the idea that you’re only worthy when you’re easy. And that’s just not true.
You can say what you need without sounding demanding or dramatic. You don’t have to ask for basic respect like it’s a favour. Start small—ask for a moment, speak up when you’re uncomfortable, say “actually, I need this to feel okay.” Over time, it stops feeling selfish and starts feeling like honesty.
4. Let people sit with your boundaries.
Sometimes when you set a boundary—saying no, asking for space, turning something down—you’ll feel the urge to over-explain or soften it so no one feels put out. But part of taking up space is letting your boundaries be clear without turning them into a long apology.
It’s okay if someone’s uncomfortable with the fact that you’re prioritising yourself. You don’t have to fix their discomfort. Let the silence sit. Let your no be a full sentence. People who respect you will adjust. The more you practise this, the more peaceful it feels to stand firm without bending every time.
5. Share your wins without downplaying them.
Celebrating yourself isn’t bragging. You’re allowed to talk about things you’re proud of without immediately following it up with self-deprecating humour or “I probably just got lucky.” Taking up space means letting your joy be seen too—not just your struggles.
It might feel awkward at first, especially if you’ve been taught to stay humble to a fault. But naming your success, your growth, or your effort is part of being visible in your own story. You’re not asking for approval—you’re just letting your life take up space, the good parts included.
6. Speak up, even if you’re the only one who disagrees.
When everyone else in the room seems to agree on something, it’s easy to stay quiet to keep the peace. However, your perspective matters, even if it’s different. Especially if it’s different. You’re not difficult just because you see things another way.
Speaking up doesn’t mean causing conflict—it means participating fully. You’re adding value by offering a view that others might not have considered. You don’t have to convince anyone or argue your case endlessly. You just have to allow yourself to take up intellectual space, even when it feels risky.
7. Take your time, even when the world is rushing.
You’re not a machine. You don’t have to match everyone else’s pace to be valid. Whether it’s how long you take to respond to messages, process your thoughts, make decisions, or recover from something difficult, you’re allowed to move at your own speed.
The world doesn’t fall apart when you pause. In fact, slowing down is often how you stay connected to yourself. Taking up space means trusting that your pace is enough, even if it’s slower, quieter, or more deliberate than what people expect.
8. Take up emotional space in relationships.
You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You don’t have to brush things off, hide your tears, or pretend everything’s fine just to keep things light. Being emotionally present—asking for comfort, talking through hard things, being honest when you’re struggling—is part of showing up as a whole person.
People who care about you want to know the real you, not just the edited version. Letting someone in isn’t weakness. It’s a way of saying, “I trust you enough to be seen.” That kind of emotional visibility is scary, but it also creates deeper connection.
9. Make choices without justifying them.
You’re allowed to make decisions that work for you—what you eat, how you spend your time, who you spend it with—without offering a whole backstory every time. Not everything you do needs to be defended. “I don’t feel like it” or “that’s not right for me” is enough.
When you stop over-explaining, you give yourself permission to live more freely. Plus, you train other people to stop expecting explanations for your personal boundaries. You’re not being rude. You’re just living your life on your terms—and that’s the whole point.
10. Let yourself exist without shrinking.
You don’t have to constantly monitor your body, your tone, your laugh, your emotions, or your presence to make others comfortable. You’re allowed to show up as your full self, even if that means taking up more physical, emotional, or conversational space than you used to think was okay.
The goal isn’t to be loud or dominant—it’s just to stop apologising for existing. You’re not here to be small, quiet, easy, or forgettable. You’re here to live fully, speak clearly, move freely, and feel deeply. And none of that requires permission.
