It’s way too easy to feel like you’re falling behind in life these days. Whether it’s seeing friends achieve big things, constantly hearing about the latest success stories on social media, or simply feeling like you’re not quite where you thought you’d be at a certain age, the pressure starts to pile up pretty quickly. Of course, the truth is that you’re doing just fine. Life doesn’t follow a set timeline, and the only race you need to be in is the one with yourself. If you’re feeling like you’re not quite where you want to be, here’s how to change the way you think and realise that you’re exactly where you need to be.
Stop comparing yourself to other people for good.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your progress to everyone else’s, especially when it seems like other people are ahead. Social media makes it even worse, presenting only the highlights of people’s lives and leaving out all the hard work, setbacks, and struggles that they’ve had to deal with. The truth is, everyone’s journey is unique. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start focusing on your own path. You’re on your own timeline, and that’s perfectly okay.
Recognise that everyone moves at their own pace.
Life isn’t a race. We all move at different speeds, and that’s completely normal. Some people may hit major milestones early on, while others take a bit longer to get there. It’s important to remind yourself that there’s no universal “right” time to achieve certain things—there’s only your time. You’re not behind; you’re just on a different path, and that’s not a bad thing.
Stop waiting for permission.
A lot of the feeling of “falling behind” comes from waiting for someone’s approval or permission to go after what you want. Whether that’s a new job, a relationship, or a change in lifestyle, stop waiting for the green light from anyone apart from yourself. Take the leap, even if it feels scary. You don’t need someone else’s validation to make your next move. When you take ownership of your decisions, you’ll feel a sense of control over your own journey.
Focus on what you’ve already achieved.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in what we still need to do that we forget to take a moment to look at what we’ve already done. Think about all the things you’ve accomplished so far. They might not be huge, life-changing events, but they’re still worth celebrating. Even small victories deserve recognition, and looking back at what you’ve already achieved can remind you that you’re moving forward, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Let go of the idea that there’s one “right” way to live.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking there’s a single path to success or happiness, but that’s simply not true. Everyone has their own version of what a successful life looks like. You don’t need to follow a prescribed set of steps to reach happiness or fulfilment. Whether you’re building a career, a family, or pursuing your passions, your path is yours to define, and there’s no wrong way to go about it.
Practise patience.
We live in a world where instant gratification is the norm. Whether it’s fast food, quick replies, or overnight delivery, everything is expected to happen quickly. But meaningful change and growth take time. Don’t expect to have everything figured out or to achieve your biggest goals overnight. Practice patience with yourself. Give yourself the grace to go at your own pace and trust that things will come in time.
Acknowledge that your journey is unique.
It’s easy to feel like you’re behind when you’re comparing your timeline to someone else’s, but remember that everyone’s story is different. Just because your journey doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Embrace your unique experiences, the lessons you’ve learned along the way, and the personal growth you’ve gone through. Your story is yours, and it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s expectations.
Embrace the idea of not knowing.
Sometimes, feeling “behind” stems from the pressure to have everything figured out. But the truth is, no one really knows exactly what they’re doing all the time. Not knowing the next step or not having everything planned out perfectly is totally normal. Embrace the uncertainty. Life isn’t about knowing exactly where you’re going; it’s about taking things one step at a time and being open to the twists and turns along the way.
Recognise that life is full of setbacks for everyone.
No one’s journey is smooth. Life is full of challenges, setbacks, and things that don’t go as planned. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when things aren’t working out as you imagined, but those setbacks are often what lead to the greatest growth. It’s not about how many times you fall; it’s about how many times you get back up and keep going. You’re not behind, you’re just facing a bump in the road, and that’s a natural part of the process.
Make peace with the “shoulds” in life.
The feeling of being behind often comes from all the “shoulds” we place on ourselves. “I should be married by now.” “I should have a house by now.” “I should have a career that’s more successful by now.” These ideas come from external pressures, societal expectations, or unrealistic comparisons. It’s time to let go of the “shoulds” and focus on what you actually want. Stop letting other people’s expectations dictate how you measure your progress.
Find meaning in the everyday.
A lot of the pressure to catch up or get ahead comes from chasing something big, whether it’s a goal, a milestone, or an ideal version of success. But real meaning can often be found in the everyday moments. The simple joys, the connections with people around you, and the small accomplishments that you might overlook are where the true richness of life lies. When you focus on these, you’ll realise that you’re not falling behind—you’re just living life.
Let yourself grow and change.
One of the reasons we feel behind is because we sometimes get stuck in an old version of ourselves. We think we’re too old to make a change or that we’ve missed our shot. But it’s never too late to grow or evolve. You don’t have to stay in the same place if you don’t want to. Change is possible at any age, and growth isn’t linear. Allow yourself to evolve without guilt, and remember that life doesn’t have a deadline.
Take time to appreciate the journey.
We’re often so focused on the destination that we forget to enjoy the journey. Life isn’t just about ticking off boxes or reaching goals; it’s about the experiences, the lessons, and the people you meet along the way. If you’re constantly thinking about what you haven’t achieved yet, you’re missing out on the beauty of the present moment. Take a step back, slow down, and appreciate where you are right now. You’re not behind; you’re just in a different phase of your journey, and that’s okay.
Remember that you’re exactly where you need to be.
It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when you’re caught up in comparisons or expectations, but the truth is, everyone’s life plays out differently. There’s no deadline, no clock ticking down on your opportunities. Life is full of surprises, and you’re exactly where you need to be right now. So, stop measuring your progress based on where other people are or where you think you “should” be. Focus on your own journey, appreciate the present moment, and trust that you’re moving at the pace that’s right for you.
You’re not behind—you’re just living your life, one step at a time.
