Gifted kids often get praised for how smart or talented they are, but what people don’t always see is the pressure they quietly carry. Being labelled “gifted” can come with high expectations, internal pressure to always perform, and a fear of letting people down, even when they’re just trying to figure out who they are. It’s not uncommon for gifted children to experience anxiety, perfectionism, and even burnout from a young age, especially if they feel like their worth is tied to achievement. If you’ve got a child who’s bright but clearly weighed down, here are some grounded ways to support them without adding to the load.
Stop praising them only for being smart.
When kids constantly hear praise like “you’re so clever” or “you’re a genius,” it can start to feel like that’s the only thing that makes them valuable. It builds a fragile sense of identity that depends on always being right or successful, and that’s a heavy thing for a kid to carry.
Instead, focus on their curiosity, kindness, or effort. Celebrate how they think through things, not just how quickly they get the answer. This helps them see themselves as more than a label and reminds them that being human is allowed, too.
Help them set boundaries around school and activities.
Gifted kids can be eager to take on more—more subjects, more clubs, more goals—especially when they’re used to excelling. However, as time goes on, that can (and often does) burn them out. They may feel guilty saying no, or worry that dropping anything means they’re falling short.
Talk openly about rest and limits. Let them know it’s not just okay to say no—it’s smart. Model this in your own life, too. When they see that even capable people take breaks, it gives them permission to do the same without shame.
Watch for signs of perfectionism.
Perfectionism in gifted kids often hides in plain sight. It’s not just about neat homework or straight A’s—it’s the meltdown over one missed question or the anxiety about handing something in that isn’t “perfect enough.”
If you notice this, gently talk them through what “good enough” really means. Help them understand that mistakes are part of learning, not proof of failure. The goal is to help them detach their self-worth from performance before it becomes a lifelong pattern.
Create space for unstructured time.
Gifted kids are often scheduled within an inch of their lives. Between school, enrichment programs, and hobbies, there’s not always space to just be. However, downtime matters. It’s where creativity, rest, and emotional processing happen. Encourage them to have moments that aren’t about achievement. Let them read just for fun, doodle without purpose, or get bored now and then. These spaces help them reconnect with themselves outside the expectations placed on them.
Don’t treat emotional maturity like a given.
Just because a child can talk like an adult or process advanced topics doesn’t mean they’re emotionally on the same level. Giftedness in intellect doesn’t automatically come with emotional resilience or social confidence. They still need help managing big feelings, navigating friendships, and learning to deal with failure. It’s easy to forget, but they’re still learning how to be a person. Give them grace and guidance, not just more responsibility.
Validate their stress, even if it sounds unusual for their age.
Gifted children can carry stress that seems out of place—worries about the future, the state of the world, or existential questions they’re not emotionally ready to hold. It can be easy to dismiss these thoughts as dramatic or “too much,” but to them, it’s very real. Instead of brushing it off, meet them where they are. Let them talk it out without rushing to fix it. Sometimes, just knowing someone understands the weight they feel can be enough to make it lighter.
Don’t let the gifted label box them in.
When a child is called gifted early on, it can become a kind of identity cage. They might feel like they can’t try new things unless they’re immediately good at them, or they might avoid risks altogether to protect their image.
Help them reconnect with the idea that trying and failing is part of being human. They don’t have to be excellent at everything. Remind them that growth comes from messing up sometimes, and that learning isn’t supposed to feel comfortable all the time.
Encourage friendships that aren’t based on competition.
Some gifted kids struggle with friendships because they’re often surrounded by peers or adults who are focused on grades, performance, or comparisons. That can make it hard to relax and just be themselves socially. Encourage relationships where play, humour, and kindness take centre stage. Whether it’s a cousin, a neighbour, or a friend from outside school, having at least one person in their life who isn’t sizing them up can do wonders for their emotional health.
Watch for early signs of burnout.
Burnout in kids doesn’t always look like it does in adults. It can show up as mood swings, procrastination, lack of motivation, or sudden disinterest in things they used to love. They may not say “I’m burned out,” but their behaviour starts waving red flags.
If you notice these changes, don’t push harder—lean in with support. Let them rest. Give them space to be “just okay” for a while. Sometimes the best way to help them get back on track is by showing them it’s okay to stop walking for a bit.
Encourage hobbies that aren’t tied to success.
When everything a gifted kid does is tracked, measured, and rewarded, it’s easy for them to lose the joy of just doing something for the sake of it. That’s why low-pressure hobbies can be such a powerful outlet. Think things like baking, gardening, crafting, or skateboarding—activities where the goal isn’t to be the best, but to have fun, make mistakes, and try things out. These kinds of hobbies help reset their nervous system and bring back some much-needed balance.
Let them lead their own path (not the one other people expect).
Gifted kids are often steered toward specific careers or academic routes, whether they’re interested or not. People assume certain talents equal a certain future, and that can leave them feeling trapped in someone else’s version of their life.
Give them permission to explore paths that feel exciting, not just impressive. Whether they want to be an artist, a vet, or take a gap year, what matters most is that they feel like they’re building a life that fits, not one that’s just been handed to them.
Teach them how to fail well.
Failure can feel catastrophic to a gifted child, especially if they’ve always been the “top performer.” But failure isn’t just unavoidable—it’s essential. The sooner they learn that mistakes are part of learning, the less scary they’ll seem. Model this by sharing your own stumbles. Show them how to recover, reflect, and laugh at the mess-ups. The goal isn’t to protect them from failure; it’s to make sure it doesn’t define them when it happens.
13. Remind them they’re loved for who they are, not what they do.
At the end of the day, every gifted child needs to know that they’re not just impressive—they’re deeply loved. Not for their grades, talents, or trophies, but for their humour, their weird ideas, their kindness, and their presence. Tell them often. Remind them when they’re struggling. Say it in small ways, not just big ones. When a child knows they’re safe and valued regardless of how they perform, the pressure starts to lift, and they get room to just be a kid again.
