Trying to be perfect is a trap that looks like self-improvement, but usually just ends up making you feel behind.
No matter how much you achieve or fix, there’s always something else to improve, polish, or overthink. However, being ‘in progress’ is a whole different mindset. It doesn’t mean giving up or lowering the bar. It simply means living in the space between who you are and who you’re becoming without tearing yourself apart in the process. Here’s how to lean into the idea of being a work in progress without losing your confidence or your peace of mind.
1. Catch yourself when you’re aiming for flawless instead of real.
Perfection tends to show itself in tiny edits, rewrites, second guesses, and the voice in your head telling you something still isn’t good enough. It’s easy to convince yourself you’re just being thorough, but what you’re really doing is holding yourself hostage to a version of “ideal” that doesn’t actually exist.
Start asking, “Does this need to be perfect, or does it just need to be true?” If it’s true, it’s probably enough. That change helps you get out of your own way and actually share what you’re working on, instead of endlessly tweaking it in silence.
2. Let small wins actually count.
When you’re stuck chasing perfection, small wins barely register. You downplay them or brush them off because they’re not the “real” goal yet. However, embracing progress means letting those in-between steps matter. You finished something. You showed up. You tried. That’s not nothing.
Small wins are what big ones are made of. If you only celebrate yourself once you’ve crossed the finish line, you miss the whole point of growth. The process itself deserves credit, not just the shiny end result.
3. Share things before you feel ready.
If you wait until your idea, work, or self is perfectly polished, you’ll be waiting forever. There’s always more refining to do, more to learn, more to fix. However, sometimes the best thing you can do is share something mid-process—raw, messy, unfinished—and let it be seen anyway. This builds trust in yourself. It proves that you don’t have to be flawless to be valid or valued. And often, sharing imperfectly invites connection and feedback in ways perfection never could.
4. Stop making self-worth conditional.
Perfectionism often sounds like, “Once I achieve this, then I’ll feel okay about myself.” Of course, being in progress means dropping the idea that you have to hit a certain milestone to be enough. You’re allowed to like yourself even when you’re still figuring things out.
Your value isn’t on hold until you reach some ideal version of yourself. You don’t need to earn your worth through constant doing. It’s already there. You’re already a whole person, even while you’re still in the middle of becoming.
5. Stop feeling guilty for resting.
When you’re stuck in a perfection mindset, rest feels like slacking. You’re either improving or wasting time—there’s no in-between. But progress isn’t sustainable if you’re constantly exhausted or running on empty. Rest is part of it, not a break from it.
Letting yourself pause without the guilt is how you build a rhythm that lasts. Resting doesn’t undo your progress. It protects it. And when you start seeing it that way, the pressure to always be “on” starts to lose its grip.
6. Let mistakes be part of your process, not the end of it.
When you’re aiming for perfect, any misstep feels like failure. You think one wrong move undoes all your progress. But mistakes are often where the real learning happens. They show you what’s working, what’s not, and where you still need care, not punishment.
Reframing mistakes as part of the path instead of proof that you’re not good enough helps you keep moving. It’s not about getting it right the first time. It’s about staying open enough to learn, change, and try again.
7. Be honest about what’s actually working for you.
Sometimes perfectionism pushes you to keep forcing things that look good on paper but feel wrong in practice. You power through habits, routines, or goals because they sound like they should work, even if they’re quietly burning you out.
Progress means being honest with yourself about what’s actually helping you grow and what’s just keeping you busy. It’s okay to pivot. It’s okay to admit something no longer fits. Changing direction is still moving forward—it’s just smarter movement.
8. Take yourself a little less seriously.
Perfectionism loves pressure. Everything feels high stakes, like one mistake or awkward moment is going to define you forever. However, loosening your grip, laughing at yourself, and seeing the humour in your own learning curve can help soften that internal intensity.
You’re allowed to not be polished. You’re allowed to cringe at old work, old choices, old versions of yourself. That’s part of growing. The more you lighten up, the easier it becomes to keep showing up without fear of not being good enough yet.
9. Stay curious instead of self-critical.
When you catch yourself struggling, messing up, or repeating a pattern, your first instinct might be to judge it. But curiosity changes the tone completely. Instead of “Why am I like this?” try “What’s going on here?” or “What do I need right now?” Curiosity leads to insight. Criticism just leads to shame spirals. Being in progress is about asking questions with softness instead of demanding perfection through pressure. That’s where the real changes happen—from a place of care, not control.
10. Stop waiting for the “right time” to start.
If you’re constantly planning, prepping, or telling yourself you’ll begin once conditions are perfect, you’re already stuck. Being in progress means starting now, even if you feel underprepared, unsure, or slightly messy. Action creates momentum. Waiting just feeds doubt.
You don’t need to feel 100% ready to take the first step. You just need to move. Starting imperfectly is still starting, and it gets you way further than endlessly waiting for the moment where everything lines up perfectly.
11. Let your identity grow with you.
Sometimes you feel stuck not because you haven’t changed, but because you’re trying to keep up an old version of yourself. Perfectionism makes you cling to labels—hard worker, high achiever, the one who always has it together, even when those roles don’t fit anymore.
Being in progress means letting yourself evolve. You’re allowed to change your mind, update your values, or want different things than you did last year. Your identity isn’t fixed. It’s allowed to move with you, not hold you back.
12. Recognise when your best looks different each day.
“Doing your best” isn’t one consistent level of output. Some days your best is organised, efficient, and energised. Other days your best is showing up, replying to one email, or just keeping it together. Both count.
Perfectionism expects consistency that real life can’t deliver. However, progress means adapting to what you have that day and being proud of what you managed, not ashamed of what you couldn’t. Your worth doesn’t go down just because your energy did.
13. Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come, even if it’s quiet
Perfection keeps you focused on the gap between where you are and where you want to be. However, self-acceptance comes from looking back too—from noticing how far you’ve come, how much you’ve grown, and how often you kept going even when it was hard.
Celebrate the changes no one else sees. The boundaries you set, the negative thoughts you didn’t believe, the moment you chose rest over burnout. Progress lives in those quiet moments—and that’s worth recognising, even if no one else claps for it.
