We all have blind spots—those quiet patterns, assumptions, or behaviours we don’t even realise we’re carrying.
They’re not signs of failure, though. In fact, they’re just parts of us we haven’t had a reason (or the courage) to fully look at yet. However, when you start spotting them, everything changes. You communicate better, grow faster, and stop repeating things you didn’t even know you were doing. Here are some easy ways to start catching the things you’re not seeing about yourself—without beating yourself up in the process.
1. Pay attention to what annoys you in other people.
Sometimes, the traits that irritate us the most in other people are things we haven’t fully dealt with in ourselves. It might be insecurity, attention-seeking, control, or avoidance. If you feel a strong reaction, it’s worth asking why it hit so hard. This isn’t about blame; it’s about curiosity. Often, that reaction is a mirror, not a judgement. Noticing it can uncover parts of you that have been running in the background unchecked.
2. Ask for feedback, and don’t just look for compliments.
Inviting honest feedback from people you trust can be one of the quickest ways to spot blind spots. However, you have to be willing to hear it without getting defensive or fishing for praise. Frame it gently: “Is there something you notice I tend to miss about how I come across?” or “Are there patterns in how I react that I don’t seem to notice?” You might be surprised how eye-opening a kind but direct answer can be.
3. Reflect on your common conflicts.
If you keep having the same type of argument, whether in friendships, family, or work, that’s a clue. Blind spots often live in repeated tension. The details change, but the underlying dynamic doesn’t. Instead of just venting, step back and ask: “What part of this pattern feels familiar? What role do I always end up in?” That simple zoom-out can reveal behaviours you’ve never labelled before.
4. Notice the things you always explain away.
Do you frequently say things like “That’s just how I am,” or “They’re too sensitive,” or “People always misunderstand me”? Those phrases are often shields that protect our blind spots from being challenged. Try slowing down around those justifications. Ask yourself: What am I trying to protect here? What would happen if I considered the other side for a minute? That discomfort often points to something important.
5. Watch your go-to reactions when you’re stressed.
When you’re overwhelmed, do you shut down? Over-explain? Blame other people? Those habits aren’t random; they’re often old survival strategies. The way you react under pressure can reveal blind spots you miss in calmer moments. You don’t have to fix them instantly. Just naming them helps you stop being run by them. When you know your patterns, you’re not at their mercy anymore.
6. Journal what you avoid thinking about.
You don’t need to journal every day to catch your blind spots. Sometimes, just asking, “What am I pretending not to care about?” or “What would I rather avoid right now?” leads to surprising answers. The things you avoid usually have more power over you than you think. Putting them into words helps shrink them, and brings them into the light where change becomes possible.
7. Check how you talk about yourself to other people.
Listen to your own language. Do you constantly downplay your needs? Do you present yourself as “fine” when you’re clearly overwhelmed? The way you describe yourself often reveals what you’re trying to hide or manage. Sometimes your blind spot isn’t a toxic trait—it’s an unmet need or unspoken story you’ve never given yourself permission to acknowledge. Catching that narrative can shift everything.
8. Look at where you tend to judge other people quickly.
Snap judgements often reveal parts of ourselves we’ve rejected or haven’t made peace with. If you notice yourself feeling overly harsh or dismissive about something minor, pause and ask: “What’s underneath this reaction?” Judgement is often easier than vulnerability. But when you soften around it, you start to uncover blind spots that were just waiting for space to be seen honestly.
9. Observe how you respond to compliments.
If you instantly deflect, joke, or change the subject when someone compliments you, that’s a signal. It might point to a blind spot around self-worth or receiving care, and those things matter more than they get credit for. Practising how to simply say “thank you” without brushing it off helps bring your relationship with self-perception into view. You might realise you’ve been minimising yourself out of habit, not humility.
10. Track where you feel misunderstood again and again.
Repeatedly feeling misunderstood often means there’s a disconnect between how you think you’re coming across and how other people experience you. That gap is where blind spots live. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it just means your communication might not match your intention. Getting curious about that mismatch opens up space to adjust without shame.
11. Pay attention to what people gently tease you about.
Sometimes people joke about something you do so often it’s become part of how they see you. While it might seem harmless, those patterns can reveal blind spots, especially if the jokes hit a nerve. If the same comment comes up repeatedly, it’s worth asking, “Do I actually do that? And if so, where might it come from?” Not all teasing is feedback, but some of it might be more honest than it sounds.
12. Take note of what you defend without question.
If you find yourself fiercely defending certain choices, habits, or beliefs, even when no one’s challenging them—it might be worth asking why. Defensive energy often protects a part of you that’s unsure or insecure. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong. But exploring why you feel the need to protect something so strongly can uncover deeper layers of what’s really going on underneath.
13. Explore the stories you keep telling yourself.
“I’m the responsible one.” “No one ever supports me.” “I’m always the outsider.” These quiet mantras shape how you see the world, and they might not be as true as they feel. Blind spots often show up as familiar scripts we haven’t paused to question. When you realise you’ve been telling the same story for years, you get to ask whether it still serves you, or if it’s time to write a new one.
14. Remember: noticing your blind spots isn’t about shame—it’s about freedom.
This work isn’t about fixing everything or becoming a perfect version of yourself. It’s about seeing what’s been quietly running the show, and deciding if you still want it there. The goal is awareness, not punishment. The more you notice, the more choice you have. And the more choice you have, the more your life starts to feel like yours again, not just something you’re reacting to.
