There are days (or weeks, or months) when everything just feels like it’s falling apart, and being grateful seems like the last thing on your mind. You might be stuck in a tough spot, dealing with a stressful situation, or just feeling overwhelmed by life in general. It’s easy to focus on the chaos, the stress, the frustration, and get caught in a spiral of negativity. But here’s the thing: even in the messiest moments, there are ways to find something to be grateful for. It might take some practice and a change in perspective, but being grateful, even when everything feels like it’s going wrong, can make a huge difference in how you experience life.
Recognise that gratitude doesn’t need to be grand.
When everything feels out of control, the last thing you might feel is thankful. You might be waiting for something huge to happen—a big breakthrough or a dramatic change—to feel grateful. But real gratitude doesn’t have to be about life-changing moments. It’s the small, everyday things that can spark that feeling. Maybe it’s the comfort of a delicious coffee and pastry, the sound of rain on your window, or the fact that you have a few minutes to yourself at the end of a chaotic day. These little things can help you connect to gratitude, even when your life feels messy. So, when things feel off, don’t look for the big wins. Look for the small moments that bring you a little bit of peace.
Start with what you already have.
When everything feels like a mess, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of focusing on what you don’t have or what isn’t working. But it’s helpful to remember that you’ve likely got more going for you than you realise. Maybe it’s your health, your family, your ability to take a breath, or the roof over your head. Sometimes, taking a step back and appreciating these things, however simple, can help change your mindset. You might not have everything you want, but you likely have something you can be thankful for. Starting with what you have, even if it’s small, grounds you in the present moment and helps you refocus on what’s going well, instead of what’s going wrong.
Find gratitude in the struggle.
This one can be tough, but it’s worth mentioning. There’s a certain kind of growth that comes from challenges. Yes, it might sound a bit cliché, but think about it for a second. When you’ve been through difficult times, you usually come out stronger. You learn something new about yourself, your strengths, and your ability to adapt. Even though the situation might suck in the moment, finding gratitude for the lessons you’re learning can change the way you think. It’s not about being thankful for the pain or struggle itself; it’s about recognising the ways it helps you grow or reveals your resilience. Gratitude can come from accepting that this is part of your journey, and it’s helping you build character.
Appreciate the people around you.
When you’re going through a tough time, it’s easy to isolate yourself and focus on how you’re feeling. But what about the people who show up for you, even when you’re a mess? Maybe it’s a friend who listens to your rants, a colleague who picks up the slack when you’re overwhelmed, or a family member who’s there with a smile or a warm meal. These are the people who remind you that, even in your messiest moments, you’re not alone. Taking a moment to appreciate their support can help you realise that even when everything feels like it’s falling apart, there’s always someone to lean on. Sometimes, knowing you have people in your corner is all it takes to shift from frustration to gratitude.
Give yourself a bit of credit.
When you’re feeling like everything’s falling apart, it’s easy to be hard on yourself. Maybe you didn’t handle a situation perfectly, or you’re struggling to keep up with all your responsibilities. But instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, try recognising the things you’re doing right. You’re still showing up. You’re still trying, even when things feel tough. You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got. Giving yourself credit for that—acknowledging your effort—can help you feel a sense of gratitude for your own strength and perseverance. It’s not about perfection; it’s about acknowledging that you’re still in the game, and that’s something to be thankful for.
Embrace the mess.
It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, the best way to find gratitude in chaos is to embrace it. Life isn’t perfect, and it’s never going to be. Sometimes, we have to let go of the expectation that everything should be neatly tied up and just accept the mess. Mess doesn’t mean failure; it just means life is happening. When you allow yourself to be okay with the mess, you might find that the stress and frustration lessen. You’ll stop fighting against what’s happening and start accepting that it’s all part of your experience. Once you accept the mess, you can start to look at it through a different lens and see what you’re grateful for within it.
Find joy in the little things.
When everything feels out of control, it’s easy to overlook the small things that can bring you joy. But sometimes, it’s the little moments that can offer a moment of peace in the chaos. If you take the time to notice these moments and appreciate them, it can create a ripple effect of gratitude. The more you pay attention to the small joys, the more you’ll realise that there are always things to be grateful for, even when things feel overwhelming.
Flip your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.
When your life feels like a mess, it’s natural to focus on everything that’s going wrong. But this kind of thinking can pull you deeper into negativity and make it harder to see any hope. Instead of giving in to that mindset, try flipping your focus to what’s going right. Maybe it’s a minor win like finishing a task, catching up with a friend, or getting a good night’s sleep. Pulling your attention to the positive aspects, no matter how small, helps you create balance and move away from the stress and frustration that can cloud your view.
Let go of the need for everything to be perfect.
Perfectionism can be a major obstacle to feeling grateful. When you’re stuck in the belief that everything needs to be perfect, you’ll always find something to complain about. The key to finding gratitude is letting go of the need for everything to be flawless. Life is messy, and that’s okay. When you stop striving for perfection and start accepting things as they are, you can appreciate the beauty in the imperfections. That doesn’t mean you stop trying or striving for improvement, but rather that you start to accept that things don’t always need to be perfect to be valuable or worthy of gratitude.
Practice gratitude daily, even on the tough days.
Gratitude doesn’t have to be reserved for the good days. In fact, it’s on the tough days that gratitude can make the biggest difference. Try to make it a habit to note something you’re grateful for each day, even if it’s small. Maybe it’s the sunshine, a kind word from someone, or just the fact that you made it through the day. Practising gratitude every day, no matter what’s going on in your life, helps change your mindset after a while. And while it might not immediately change your situation, it will help you approach it with a little more peace and perspective.
