Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a bit more than just getting your feelings hurt.
It’s a heightened, often overwhelming emotional response to perceived rejection or criticism, even when none was intended. Sadly, for those who experience it, it can completely distort how they see themselves. Whether linked to ADHD, past trauma, or chronic invalidation, RSD doesn’t just make life more sensitive—it can reshape your confidence in ways you might not even notice. Here’s how it seeps into self-esteem and impacts how you show up in the world.
1. You assume you’ve done something wrong, even when no one says anything.
RSD makes silence feel loud. A delayed reply, a vague look, a change in tone—these can all trigger panic spirals. You start replaying the last interaction, dissecting every word, convinced you must’ve upset someone. That constant self-questioning wears down your confidence. As time goes on, you stop trusting your own intentions and start assuming you’re always slightly “off.” Even when nothing’s wrong, you feel like you are.
2. You apologise too often, even for things that don’t need it.
If you live in fear of upsetting people, you start overcorrecting. You say sorry for taking up space, for having a preference, for existing slightly outside someone else’s comfort zone. That constant apologising chips away at your self-worth. It turns your presence into a problem to manage, rather than a value to share.
3. You shrink yourself to avoid the risk of criticism.
When rejection feels unbearable, the safest strategy is to avoid attention. You play small, stay quiet, avoid speaking up unless you’re absolutely sure you won’t be misunderstood. It feels protective, sure, but it robs you of opportunities to be seen for who you are. You end up editing yourself so tightly that your real personality rarely gets a chance to shine.
4. You mistake neutrality for rejection.
Someone being tired, distracted, or just short in their message can feel like rejection through an RSD lens. Your brain fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios—usually involving something you did wrong. As time goes on, it trains you to see yourself as a burden. You start assuming you’re the problem, even when other people are just having a normal human moment.
5. You overachieve just to avoid the risk of being disliked.
RSD can drive perfectionism. You work extra hard, not out of passion, but because you think any flaw might make people withdraw their approval. Praise becomes a lifeline, not a bonus. It’s exhausting, and fragile. Your self-esteem becomes tied to performance, leaving you unsure of your worth when you’re not producing something exceptional.
6. Criticism, even constructive and kind, hits like a personal attack.
Feedback that other people might shrug off feels crushing. Your nervous system reads it as danger. Instead of hearing “this could be better,” you hear “you’re not good enough.” This sensitivity can lead to avoidance. You’d rather not try at all than risk hearing that you failed, even when the stakes are low.
7. You crave reassurance more than celebration.
You’re not looking to be hyped up—you just want to know you didn’t ruin something. That you’re still okay. That someone isn’t secretly upset with you. Reassurance becomes your emotional baseline. However, needing constant reassurance reinforces the idea that something is wrong with you—that you need regular proof you’re acceptable. It traps your self-esteem in a loop of dependency.
8. You interpret “no” as “you’re not worth it.”
When someone says no—to a request, an idea, or a plan—it can feel devastating. It’s not just disappointing, but it’s a personal invalidation—as if you yourself have been rejected, not just your suggestion. This makes asking for things risky. You start only making safe requests, or avoiding them altogether, to protect your self-esteem from another perceived blow.
9. You people-please to protect your sense of safety.
Keeping people happy becomes less about kindness and more about emotional survival. If everyone likes you, maybe you won’t feel that gut-punch of rejection again. Sadly, in the long run, people-pleasing makes you lose track of what you actually want. Your self-esteem gets built on how little trouble you cause—not on who you really are.
10. You feel emotionally “too much,” even when you’re trying to hold it together.
RSD can leave you constantly managing your own reactions, trying not to appear “dramatic” or “sensitive.” But suppressing that pain doesn’t make it go away—it just makes you feel ashamed for having it in the first place. This shame leaks into self-esteem. You start seeing your emotional needs as flaws, your honesty as risky, and your sensitivity as something that needs to be hidden to keep people close.
