Contrary to popular belief, sadness doesn’t always need fixing—sometimes it just needs company.
Of course, most of us were taught to fear it, avoid it, or drown it out with something louder. You get told to cheer up, look on the bright side, or stay busy. However, sitting with your sadness—actually letting it be there without judgement—is one of the bravest, kindest things you can do for yourself. You’re not wallowing; you’re listening to what your feelings are trying to say before they turn into something heavier. If you’re not sure where to begin, here are some ways to start sitting with sadness in a way that feels less intimidating and more grounding.
1. Let it come without apologising for it.
Sadness has this way of making people feel like they need to explain themselves. Of course, you don’t need a tragic backstory or a list of reasons to feel how you feel. If you’re sad, you’re sad—that’s enough. The moment you stop trying to justify it or silence it, you take away some of its power. Let it show up without pushing it away or feeling guilty that it’s there. You’re not wrong for feeling low. You’re just being honest with yourself, and there’s a quiet kind of strength in that.
2. Stop calling it (or thinking of it as) weakness.
Feeling deeply isn’t a flaw—it’s a function. Sadness exists for a reason. It lets you know when something matters, when something’s changed, or when something inside you needs attention. Calling it weakness only adds another layer of self-judgement that you don’t need. The truth is, people who allow themselves to feel sadness are often stronger than those who pretend it doesn’t exist. You’re not falling apart—you’re just being real. There’s nothing weak about that.
3. Create space to actually feel it.
If your days are crammed full of noise and distractions, your emotions don’t get a chance to be heard. That doesn’t mean you need to block off hours in your calendar to cry, but it does mean allowing little pockets of quiet where you can sit with yourself without immediately jumping into problem-solving mode. Even a five-minute pause can change something. Give your feelings room to breathe. They might not need as much time as you think; they just need permission to exist.
4. Let it be boring if it wants to be.
Sadness isn’t always dramatic or poetic. Sometimes it’s just a dull ache, a numbness, or a fog that hangs around without saying much. That doesn’t make it less valid. You don’t need to wait for a movie-scene breakdown to take your emotions seriously. Let them be quiet if that’s how they’re showing up. They still deserve your attention, even if they whisper instead of shout.
5. Get curious, not critical.
When sadness shows up, most people try to either shut it down or pick themselves apart trying to figure out what’s “wrong.” But there’s another way: curiosity. Instead of blaming yourself, try asking, “Where’s this coming from?” or “What is this sadness trying to point out?”
You don’t need to solve it instantly. Just changing your mindset from self-attack to gentle exploration can make the emotion feel less overwhelming. You’re not broken, you know. You’re just navigating something tender.
6. Keep it company like you would a friend.
If someone you care about were sad, you wouldn’t tell them to get over it or that they were being dramatic. You’d sit with them. You’d offer comfort. You’d just be there. That’s exactly how you should treat yourself when sadness hits. Speak to yourself like someone who matters. You don’t need to fix it—you just need to stay. That’s what self-loyalty looks like in practice.
7. Let your body help you process it.
Emotions don’t just hang out in your mind—they show up in your body too. That’s why sadness can feel heavy, tight, or stuck. Movement can help loosen it. You don’t need to do a full workout, just something simple like a walk, a stretch, or even crying if the tears want to come. Let your body help move that emotion through. You don’t have to think your way out of it. Sometimes the body knows exactly what to do; you just have to let it.
8. Say what hurts, out loud or on paper.
Sadness gets heavier when it has nowhere to go. Putting it into words gives it shape, and once it has shape, it’s easier to understand. You don’t need to be eloquent. You just need to be honest. Talk to someone. Write it out. Record yourself speaking. Anything that gets it out of your head and into the world can create just enough space for you to breathe again.
9. Don’t rush the exit.
The instinct is to get rid of sadness as fast as possible, but that usually makes it stick around longer. Emotions don’t like being ignored or rushed—they like being acknowledged. The more you try to shove them down, the louder they eventually get. Let sadness pass through you in its own time. Trust that it’s not permanent. It’s passing through, not setting up camp forever.
10. Don’t compare your sadness to anyone else’s.
Just because someone else is going through something objectively “worse” doesn’t mean your sadness isn’t real. Pain is personal. You’re allowed to feel what you feel, even if someone else has a different struggle. There’s room for everyone’s emotions. Yours don’t need to be measured against anyone else’s to be valid. What hurts you matters—full stop.
11. Ditch the positive spin (for now).
You don’t need to turn every sadness into a life lesson immediately. Sometimes it’s okay to just feel sad without wrapping it in a silver lining. Trying to be positive too soon can actually feel more isolating. The silver linings will come, but only after you’ve let yourself be real about how hard it is right now. Don’t skip the middle part.
12. Lower the pressure to function at 100%.
It’s okay to move slower when you’re sad. You don’t have to perform at your best every single day. You don’t have to do everything perfectly just to prove you’re coping. Give yourself permission to under-function. The dishes can wait. The to-do list can shrink. You are still worthy on your off days. Survival is enough sometimes.
13. Try not to make sadness your enemy.
If you stop treating sadness like something to get rid of, you’ll notice it softens a little. It stops feeling like an intruder and starts feeling like a signal—something guiding you back to something that needs care. It’s not out to destroy you; it’s just asking to be witnessed. And once you do that, it doesn’t have to stay as long.
14. Remember: it’s real, but it’s not forever.
This part matters most. When you’re deep in it, sadness can feel endless. But it never is. No emotion sticks around forever. It will change. It will lift. You’ll breathe differently soon. Until then, you’re allowed to be in it. You’re allowed to not rush. And most of all, you’re allowed to feel every bit of it without explaining yourself to anyone.
