When someone’s mental health is struggling, it’s not always easy to tell from the outside.
More often, it creeps in through everyday habits that start to change. Things they used to enjoy become chores. Simple decisions feel heavy. They might still be smiling in public or showing up to work, but their routines tell a different story. Here are some little behaviours that could mean someone’s not coping as well as they seem. If you notice them happening with someone you care about, don’t hesitate to check in.
1. Constantly scrolling but not taking anything in
When mental health is low, the phone becomes a numbing tool. It’s not about joy or connection anymore—it’s about distraction. Endless scrolling can feel like the only way to block out the noise in your head. However, afterward, there’s rarely a sense of satisfaction. It’s just more mental clutter piled on top of everything else, and it can leave someone feeling even more disconnected than before.
2. Saying “I’m just tired” to cover everything
Fatigue is often a catch-all excuse for people who don’t have the energy to explain how they’re really feeling. “I’m tired” is socially acceptable. “I feel numb, hollow, or overwhelmed” isn’t always. So, it becomes a default response. It’s not a lie—but it’s usually just one part of a much bigger picture they can’t unpack yet.
3. Letting messages pile up unread
It’s not that they don’t care about the people messaging them. It’s that even the idea of replying can feel overwhelming. Every message becomes one more task, one more emotional interaction they don’t have the bandwidth for. This habit often comes with guilt, which only adds to the pressure. It’s a cycle of avoidance and shame that’s hard to break without support.
4. Eating way less—or way more—than usual
When mental health dips, appetite often follows. Some people lose it completely, while others turn to food for comfort and escape. Either way, eating becomes less about nourishment and more about coping. It’s not a lack of willpower—it’s often a sign that someone’s trying to regulate emotions through their body because they don’t have the words yet for what they’re feeling.
5. Struggling to keep up with basic hygiene
It might seem small, but when brushing your teeth or showering feels like a major effort, it’s a red flag. These are usually automatic routines—and when they slip, it’s often because someone’s mental load is too heavy to manage even the basics. It’s not laziness. It’s exhaustion of a different kind—the kind that’s invisible until you know what to look for.
6. Avoiding plans but feeling guilty about it
They say no to things they used to enjoy, not because they don’t want to see people, but because they don’t feel up to it. Social events start to feel like performance rather than connection. What makes it harder is the guilt that comes with every cancellation. They often feel like they’re letting people down or disappearing, which only makes the spiral worse.
7. Zoning out during conversations
Their body is present, but their mind is somewhere else. When someone’s struggling, it becomes hard to stay engaged—even in light conversations. Their thoughts are scattered, and focus is hard to maintain. They might nod and smile, but not much is landing. It’s not rudeness—it’s just a sign that their mind is too weighed down to fully participate.
8. Rewatching the same shows over and over
Familiar shows become a form of comfort. There’s no emotional risk, no surprises. Rewatching a series they know by heart lets them check out without feeling anxious or overstimulated. This habit often signals that their brain can’t handle anything new right now. The energy to try something unfamiliar just isn’t there.
9. Losing interest in things they usually care about
Whether it’s hobbies, music, reading, or even favourite people—things that once brought joy now feel flat or exhausting. This loss of interest, called anhedonia, is one of the clearest signs of mental health decline. It’s not that they’ve changed overnight—it’s that their emotional bandwidth has shrunk. Joy feels distant, and even the idea of chasing it seems out of reach.
10. Sleeping far too much, or not at all
When someone’s struggling, their sleep pattern often swings to extremes. Some sleep constantly, using it as an escape. Others lie awake for hours with their thoughts racing, exhausted but unable to shut down. Either pattern is draining, and both are common signs that the nervous system is overstimulated or overwhelmed.
11. Making jokes to deflect concern
Humour becomes a defence. They’ll joke about how “they’re falling apart” or “barely functioning,” but with a laugh that tries to mask the seriousness. It’s a way of letting things out without fully exposing how bad it is. If you look closely, there’s often real pain underneath. They want to be seen, but also want to stay protected.
12. Struggling to make decisions, even small ones
Even choosing what to eat or what to wear can feel like too much. The brain is so busy trying to stay afloat that it doesn’t have the capacity for normal decision-making. This isn’t about being indecisive—it’s about being mentally flooded. Everything starts to feel like a big ask, even when it’s tiny.
13. Isolating even though they don’t want to be alone
They crave connection, but can’t bring themselves to reach out. So they sit in a weird space of loneliness and self-protection, hoping someone will check in—but feeling too awkward or ashamed to ask for it. This can be one of the hardest parts to spot from the outside. From a distance, it just looks like they’ve pulled away. But inside, they’re often hoping not to be forgotten.
14. Being extra hard on themselves
Their inner critic gets louder when mental health is low. They beat themselves up over tiny mistakes, replay awkward moments, and assume the worst about how other people see them. It’s exhausting—and it often keeps them from asking for help, because they don’t feel “deserving” of support in the first place.
15. Saying “I’m fine” when they’re clearly not
It’s a reflex more than a lie. Saying “I’m fine” feels easier than trying to explain emotions they don’t fully understand themselves. It’s also a way of keeping people from worrying or probing too much. Behind that phrase, though, is often someone hoping you’ll notice the disconnect—and gently ask again, even if they brush you off the first time.
