The phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” is a common piece of advice you’ve probably heard at some point in life.
It’s one of those mantras that sounds simple, but it’s often met with scepticism. After all, can pretending to feel happy actually help you feel happier? It might seem like a clever way to encourage positivity, but is there any substance behind it? Does faking good feelings, like confidence or happiness, have real benefits for your mental and emotional health, or is it just another overused piece of advice? Well, that depends, really.
What does it really mean to “fake it”?
Initially, it might sound like you’re putting on a front, pretending to be someone you’re not. However, the concept is more nuanced than simply wearing a mask of happiness. Instead, it’s about acting in a way that aligns with the person you want to be. The idea is that by taking on the outward behaviours associated with happiness or confidence—like smiling, standing tall, or speaking positively—you can trick your brain into believing those feelings are real.
This isn’t really a new concept.
Psychologists have long acknowledged the link between our thoughts, emotions, and physical expressions. This is where the concept of “embodied cognition” comes into play. The theory behind embodied cognition suggests that your mind and body are closely connected. So, if you make an effort to act positively, your brain could begin to associate those actions with positive feelings.
The science behind faking it is solid.
There’s actually quite a bit of scientific evidence to support the idea that our emotions are not entirely controlled by our thoughts. In fact, our physical actions can influence how we feel. A study led by Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, gained widespread attention when it showed that adopting “power poses”—standing in ways that project confidence—can lead to an increase in feelings of power and influence your hormonal balance. The research found that people who stood tall with their hands on their hips for just a couple of minutes before an important event, like a job interview, reported feeling more confident and even showed higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
The physical and mental are deeply interlinked.
While Cuddy’s study is focused on confidence rather than happiness specifically, the basic principles remain the same: changing your physical state can have a measurable impact on your mental state. Similarly, other research suggests that even if you don’t feel particularly happy, smiling can help improve your mood and reduce stress.
A 2016 study published in Psychological Science found that participants who were instructed to smile, even if it was forced, had lower heart rates and felt more relaxed. The researchers hypothesised that the act of smiling could help to “trick” the brain into thinking it’s experiencing a positive emotion, thus improving mood and reducing anxiety. So, faking a smile could actually lead to genuine positive feelings. In essence, by simply mimicking happiness, you may end up creating it.
The power of positive behaviour
Beyond just smiling or striking a power pose, faking it can influence other aspects of life. For example, the way you carry yourself in social situations can change the way people see you, which in turn can affect how you feel about yourself. People who appear confident and self-assured tend to be treated more positively by those around them. This positive feedback loop can have an impact on your self-esteem and overall happiness.
In terms of social interactions, faking it can be a way to overcome feelings of social anxiety. You might feel nervous or insecure in a situation, but if you pretend to be calm and composed, it’s easier to navigate the interaction and make a better impression. Over time, these experiences can help reduce anxiety and increase self-assurance.
There’s more to it than just acting the part.
When you force yourself to appear confident or positive, you’re also practising resilience. The more you act “as if,” the more you might begin to internalise those behaviours. For instance, constantly putting yourself out there and acting like you belong, even when you’re unsure, could help you build confidence step by step. It sounds strange, but it does actually work much of the time.
“Faking it” might not always work, at least not always.
That said, “faking it ‘til you make it” isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. The advice doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s certainly not a substitute for addressing deeper mental health issues like depression or long-term anxiety. For people struggling with these challenges, constantly pretending to be okay might actually be harmful. Research has shown that suppressing negative emotions, rather than addressing them, can lead to increased stress and even physical health problems.
A study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that pretending to be happy or confident when you’re not can actually make you feel worse in the long run. When you feel forced to maintain an upbeat facade, it can cause feelings of inauthenticity and frustration, which can undermine your mental health.
You can’t ignore the real issues.
Additionally, constantly trying to “fake” happiness without acknowledging the real issues beneath the surface can lead to emotional exhaustion. The idea of needing to maintain an image of happiness, even when things feel tough, could lead to burnout if it’s not done in moderation. It’s important to strike a balance—acting positive or confident is helpful, but so is acknowledging when you’re struggling and asking for help and support when you realise you need it.
You can find a way to make it work for you.
So, does faking it really help you feel happier? The answer is: It depends. For some people, mimicking positive behaviour and making small adjustments in how they present themselves can have a genuine impact on their happiness. But it’s not a magic solution, and it’s not going to fix everything.
The key to making this work is to view it as one tool in a broader toolbox for mental well-being. If you can combine this with genuine self-care, mindfulness, and an awareness of your true emotions, then pretending to be positive in certain situations might help you build more confidence, reduce stress, and even improve your mood. Just don’t rely solely on it to mask deeper issues, and remember it’s okay to feel less than your best sometimes.
