Some anxious people have mastered the art of looking relaxed while battling a storm inside.
It’s not about being fake; it’s about survival. If they seem low-maintenance, maybe they’ll be easier to keep around, easier to love, easier to deal with. However, if you listen closely, the things anxious people say often hint at how much pressure they’re putting on themselves just to sound chill. If you recognise these phrases, you’re definitely not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve learned how to protect your heart the best way you knew how.
1. “I’m easy, honestly, whatever you want to do.”
It sounds flexible and breezy, but underneath, there’s often a fear of choosing wrong or being judged for having an opinion. Letting someone else decide feels safer than risking criticism or disappointing anyone. The truth is, they probably do have preferences—they’re just too used to stuffing them down before anyone can reject them. Playing easygoing keeps the anxiety at bay… at least on the surface.
2. “No worries either way!”
This one usually pops out before they even register how much they might actually care. It’s a reflex designed to avoid making anyone feel pressured, even if it costs them peace later on. Inside, they’re already worrying about how their request might inconvenience you, or how their needs might seem like too much. Saying “no worries” gives them an escape hatch from feeling like a burden.
3. “I’m good with whatever, seriously.”
They’re not indifferent—they’re overthinking. They’re probably running through every possible outcome, trying to anticipate what would make everyone happiest, safest, least annoyed. Agreeing to whatever sounds like a virtue, but often it’s a shield. It’s easier to fake laid-back energy than risk the vulnerability of saying what they actually want, and watching it get ignored.
4. “Totally fine if not!”
Even if they’re asking for something important, they’ll soften it with this add-on. It’s an anxiety-driven attempt to sound casual and low-pressure, even when they’re craving support or help badly. It’s a way to protect themselves against the sting of rejection before it even happens. If they can act as if they don’t mind either way, maybe it won’t hurt so much if you say no.
5. “No rush, seriously.”
They could be silently spiralling while waiting for a reply or decision, but they’ll tell you there’s “no rush” to make sure you don’t feel burdened by their needs. Inside, the clock is ticking loud and fast. They’re trying to seem easy and understanding, but it often leaves them stewing in anxiety longer than necessary. Protecting other people from pressure sometimes comes at their own emotional expense.
6. “I’m just happy to be here!”
This one often masks deep imposter syndrome. They say it to sound gracious and unbothered, but it’s usually a way of minimising their right to take up space in a room they secretly feel they don’t deserve to be in. It’s a way to lower expectations for themselves before anyone else gets the chance to. Gratitude is real, but so is the underlying fear of being seen as unworthy.
7. “Whatever’s easiest for you.”
It sounds polite, but it often masks a deeper terror of being an inconvenience. If they can make things easier for you, maybe they’ll avoid being viewed as a hassle or high-maintenance. They’re not lying when they say they want you to be comfortable—it’s just that they’ve learned prioritising everyone else’s comfort is the fastest way to feel marginally safer themselves.
8. “Don’t mind me, I’m just being silly.”
They brush off valid emotions by calling themselves silly because minimising their feelings has always felt safer than admitting how deeply they’re hurting or struggling. It’s heartbreaking because what they’re really saying is, “Please don’t laugh at me or leave me for feeling this way.” But instead of asking outright, they joke their way into invisibility.
9. “It’s all good!”
Maybe they’re heartbroken, furious, or terrified. Maybe things are absolutely not good. Of course, admitting that feels riskier than swallowing the emotion whole, so they slap on a bright smile and move on. They aren’t trying to be fake. They’re trying to survive. Acting unbothered often feels like the only way to stay connected to people they’re scared will run if they see the real mess underneath.
10. “No biggie!”
They could be covering a real hurt or disappointment, but acting like it’s no big deal lets them skip the part where they risk feeling foolish for caring. It’s a form of emotional self-defence: if they can shrink their own pain, maybe it won’t feel so sharp when no one else shows up for it the way they secretly hoped someone would.
11. “I’m super low-maintenance, I swear.”
This line isn’t always a badge of honour; it’s often a mask worn by people who learned that having needs gets you punished, mocked, or abandoned. Insisting they’re “low-maintenance” isn’t about truth. It’s about trying to be lovable and acceptable by erasing the very parts of themselves that need care, patience, and tenderness too.
12. “Honestly, I’m happy to just go with the flow.”
Going with the flow sounds free-spirited, but for many anxious people, it’s actually just another way to avoid taking up space or attracting attention to themselves. They do it because asserting their wants has historically felt unsafe—and they’d rather sacrifice a bit of joy than risk feeling rejected or difficult in the eyes of the people they care about.
13. “If it’s too much trouble, don’t worry about it.”
They’ll yank back requests the second they sense hesitation, even if it costs them something they really needed. Avoiding being a “bother” feels more urgent than getting their needs met. It’s not because they’re flaky or indecisive. It’s because asking, waiting, and hoping feels unbearably vulnerable when you’re wired to expect disappointment instead of support.
14. “I’m honestly fine with anything.”
They say it to smooth things over quickly, but it often means they’ve completely detached from what they actually want or need. Pretending to be fine with anything protects them from the possibility of hearing “no.” However, long term, it can leave them feeling invisible in their own life—disconnected from their own preferences, dreams, and voice because they spent so long trying to seem agreeable.
15. “I’m good, promise.”
When anxious people insist they’re fine, it’s often because admitting otherwise feels scary, messy, or too heavy to explain. They hope that if they say it firmly enough, maybe it’ll even feel true. However, beneath the forced calm, there’s usually a tangle of fears, doubts, and sadness that they don’t quite know how to name, or that they worry will scare people away if they do.
16. “Honestly, I don’t even care.”
When someone says they don’t care, it’s often because they care so much it hurts. Pretending to be detached is easier than exposing just how much they wish things could be different, or how much rejection would devastate them. Detachment feels safer than disappointment. Saying “I don’t care” is like putting on emotional armour when hope feels too dangerous to wear openly.
