Starting therapy is a big decision, and it’s not something to be taken lightly.
Opening up to someone about the struggles you’re facing takes a lot of trust and courage, but it can be one of the most effective and rewarding decisions you’ll ever make. If you’re considering it, there are some things you need to know upfront. By going in prepared, you can make sure you’re getting the most out of the process. It just might change your life in some incredible ways!
1. Your therapist isn’t your personal cheerleader.
Don’t expect your therapist to applaud everything you say. They’re not there to pat you on the back or nod in approval every time you speak. Their job is to see patterns you might not notice, spot blind spots in your thinking, and offer honest feedback, even when it stings. If you only want someone to echo what you’re already thinking, therapy may not feel helpful. Real progress often happens when you’re slightly uncomfortable with what you’re hearing because that’s how you realise something needs to change. A good therapist will gently hold up a mirror to your thoughts and behaviours so you can see them clearly. That doesn’t mean they’re harsh or cold; they’re just not in the room to be your yes-person. They’re there to help you grow.
2. Be ready to put in the work.
Some people turn up for therapy assuming they’ll lie on a couch, vent for an hour, then feel magically better. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Therapy is an active process that requires your full involvement. You’ll likely have exercises to complete between sessions, journalling to do, or reading to consider. The real change often happens outside the therapy room, when you try out new strategies in day-to-day life. You’ll get out of therapy what you’re willing to put in. If you’re hesitant to look at your own patterns or make changes, your results may be limited. On the other hand, if you’re all in—open-minded, curious, and determined to see improvements—you’ll be setting yourself up for the most benefit possible.
3. Your past will be part of the conversation.
You might think, “I don’t want to dig up old stuff; I’m here to talk about now.” However, the truth is, your past experiences have shaped how you see the world. They can colour your reactions, shape your relationships, and influence your sense of self. To ignore that would be like trying to understand a novel by only reading the last few pages. Therapy can involve looking at childhood, family relationships, or older experiences you never thought mattered. When you finally connect the dots, you can move forward with more self-awareness and a clearer idea of why you behave the way you do. This often leads to “aha” moments that help you break free from habits you’ve carried for years.
4. Not every session will be a breakthrough.
It would be lovely if each session ended with a grand epiphany, but therapy doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes you’ll walk out thinking, “We didn’t get anywhere today.” Other times, you’ll feel you’ve taken two steps back. This can be frustrating, especially if you’re naturally goal-driven and want tangible results every time. Keep in mind that the process is rarely linear. Some weeks, you’ll have breakthroughs that make it all feel worthwhile. Other weeks, you’ll just be laying groundwork, talking things through, or even sitting silently for a bit while you gather your thoughts. Progress can be slow, but over time, those pieces add up.
5. Expect discomfort along the way.
Therapy can stir up emotions you’ve tried to keep buried. The session itself might feel heavy, and you may find yourself mulling it over afterwards in ways that aren’t exactly pleasant. That’s not a sign that things are going wrong. In fact, it often means you’re tackling the real stuff that you might have avoided before. Try not to run from these uneasy feelings. Lean into them a bit because that’s where genuine growth can happen. Therapy is about shedding light on corners of your mind you might never have looked into, and sometimes those corners hold harsh truths. It’s worth it, but it does take nerve.
6. Your therapist can’t read your mind.
No matter how perceptive your therapist is, they can’t guess everything you’re thinking or feeling. Honesty is vital, even if it’s awkward or embarrassing. If something is bothering you, say it. If you disagree with your therapist’s take on a situation, speak up. They’re not there to judge you, and you’re not there to put on a front. The whole point of therapy is to get real and address the things you’ve been tiptoeing around. If you hide what’s really happening, you’re short-changing yourself. A great deal of the power in therapy lies in bringing everything into the light, so don’t hold back.
7. Finding the right therapist might take time.
One therapist might be brilliant for your friend, but not for you. It’s a personal fit, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to stay with someone who doesn’t click. You might need to meet a few different therapists before you find the one who feels right. That’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re being fussy or sabotaging your own progress. Think of it like finding a good pair of shoes: you need them to fit properly, or you’ll just end up feeling uneasy and never wanting to wear them. Trust your gut here. If something feels off, it’s perfectly fine to look for another therapist.
8. Therapy isn’t just about venting.
Yes, you’re encouraged to voice your worries and frustrations, but therapy is much more than a weekly rant. A good therapist will ask questions, challenge your thinking, and propose new ways for you to handle issues. If you’re only unloading each session but never exploring alternative ways to see or handle problems, you’re missing a huge part of why therapy works. It’s a two-way exchange, with time to reflect, and time to learn strategies you can then try out in everyday life. Simply offloading can feel nice in the moment, but real growth happens when you take what you’ve discussed and put it into action.
9. There are no instant solutions.
Therapy isn’t a quick fix, and it doesn’t come with a guarantee that all your problems will vanish by a certain date. Sometimes it takes longer than you’d hope. Often, one issue will lead you to uncover deeper ones you didn’t know were there. That can be disheartening if you walk in expecting your worries to evaporate in a handful of sessions. Stay realistic and give yourself time to see real changes. It’s like any long-term investment in your well-being: progress comes in stages, and it’s rarely simple or fast. The good news is that when it does start to click, the effect can be life-changing.
10. Therapy demands full commitment.
Therapy isn’t something you dip into now and then when you feel like it. Consistency counts. Cancelling appointments regularly or zoning out during sessions won’t do you any favours. You’re there to make changes, and that takes dedication. Think of therapy as a partnership. Your therapist brings expertise and empathy to the table, and you bring honesty, self-awareness, and willingness to engage. When those elements come together, the result can be truly transformative. But it hinges on you showing up, both literally and mentally, each time.
